The Past Year

I've been fighting back tears all of last night and today and I'm finally gonna let them go (I do apologize, some tears may be hormones kicking in, but the other tears are just "normal" so they all say)

While rocking Kara to sleep last night (I don't usually do this, I just wanted to after her birthday party yesterday) I remineced the past year and just cried. She sat staring up at me and I cried harder. I realized that I am going to write this down after I type it, and keep it in her baby book for her to reflect back on when she's older. Hopefully she will appreciate it.

One year ago today I was sitting in this exact chair rocking and talking to your Daddy about all the things I wanted in life for you. Little did I know you would make your appearance in less than 12 hours. My water broke while I was sleeping at 12:55 a.m. on January 28th. I sat up quickly in bed and called for Daddy who flipped the switch on and watched in total amazement as my "water" broke all over. I went into the bathroom and sat on the toilet while Daddy called the doctor and called Grandma and I think he even texted a couple people!! He checked on me while he called for Brandon to wake up, when Brandon finally woke up and realized what was going on, the rest was pretty much a blur until we got out the door. Mommy put a towel between her legs, put on her pants and went downstairs and waited for Daddy. We took Brandon to Uncle Doug and Aunt Trina's house and then went to the hospital. Daddy called everyone (at 1:30a.m.) on the way to the hospital to tell them that you were coming soon. When we got to the hospital Daddy was sure that Mommy was going to take a wheelchair to the Maternity Floor...Mommy was sure that she was going to walk. We got up to the Maternity Floor and were greeted by many nurses who took care of Mommy. Soon after Mommy was "hooked" up to monitors Grammie and Grampie showed up. It was less than 12 hours later and you came into this world. Your first cry was immediately breath taking and I just cried along with you. I was so happy and in total amazment that you were really here. You had so many visitors in the hospital along with the wonderful nurses you had. Nurse Carla and Nurse Kari were the greatest. We stayed in the hospital for 2 days and then Daddy and Brandon came to get us and take us home...this was the start of your new life...

When we first brought you home Mommy didn't put you down much, I just wanted to hold you all the time. On the Friday you came home Mommy and Daddy along with you went to spend the weekend at Grammie and Grampies you had so many family members you had to meet. Sunday was Superbowl so we had plans to eat all day at their house. We left during half-time to come back home. We were watching the last 32 seconds of the game while I was feeding you your bottle when all of a sudden I looked down because you made a noise. You weren't breathing and started to turn blue. Mommy quickly gave you to Daddy who started to blow in your face and pat your back. You eventually took a breath but were limp and not acting like "yourself" We waited a minute while Mommy went hysterical then Daddy called the doctor. We didn't wait for him to call back we just went to the hospital where they took us right in. Mommy was hysterical most of the night, but luckily we had so wonderful friends that were working to help Mommy. We had to stay at the hospital so they could run tests on you and see why you stopped breathing because you did it again in front of the doctor. We stayed for 4 days until they ruled out everything. It was a very hard 4 days, all the poking and prodding they did on you Mommy just didn't want them hurting her baby. At the end of 4 days we got to go home but not without an Apnea Monitor. Dr. Victoria gave us a monitor that you had to wear around all the time to make sure and to alert us when you stopped breathing. We had to simply "nudge" you and wake you up.

This was also your first trip to Syracuse. At 12 days old you got to drive to Syracuse and go to the Pediatric Sleep Clinic at St. Joseph's Hospital. Mommy, Daddy and Grammie made a day of it, we took you to the Mall and out to lunch. We packed bags because we didn't know if you were going to be admitted or not, but luckily we were told to keep monitoring it that it could possibly be a case of bad Acid Reflux. You wore the monitor for 3 months on and off, mostly at night! We eventually became greatful of that machine. The doctors put you on medicine call Zantac that we put in your bottle and you didn't even know it!! You did so well.

In April, many things happened, with the beginning being the death of your Great Grandmother Dot!! You never got to meet her but she heard all about you from Grampie he sure bragged about you and showed her pictures on their last trip to Florida. The day she died we were at Grammie and Grampie's and got to say good-bye to her before she died. She was sick with Cancer and needed to go be with God. We sure wished you would have known her, she would have just "eaten you up" Also in April, on Mommy's birthday you were baptized at Mommy's church in Croghan. Great Uncle Kim and Aunt MaryAnn were your Godparents. "Aunt Bethie and "Uncle Joe Joe", Patrick, Livi and Courtney also came to see you baptized. We had a little party at Grammie and Grampie's afterward.

In May we started building our new deck after the pool was put in. You loved it outside. On Daddy's birthday May 10th after finishing the deck Grammie and Grampie took you home to spend the night so Mommy and Daddy could spend some time together for Daddy's birthday. This was the first time we left you for this long. Mommy cried for about an hour until Daddy convinced her it was ok. The next day was Mother's Day so as a surprise Mommy and Daddy got up real early and drove to Croghan to go to church with Grammie and Grampie and to see you. We went and had a nice dinner out and then came home. This was Mommy's first Mother's Day.

In the summer months we did a lot as a family. You loved the pool and often "yelled" at Brandon while he was swimming and she even got to go into the pool with Grampie. Even though their pool was much much cooler than ours she got to stay in for a little bit. The summer also brought on many trips to the ER with fevers which later were found out to be viruses and teeth. Over July 4th we woke up to find our princess will a 104.7 temp. We packed up woke up my Grammie and headed to Watertown cooling you with a washcloth all the way. I held you all the way there (Yes, Britany Spears wanna-be) We got there only to wait for 3 hours and by then her fever was down.

Labor Day came and went with actually another fever...must be those patriotic holidays. School started back up and then came our blessing from above...

FIONA!!! We found Fiona from one of Mommy's co-workers who lives across the road from Fiona she told me to give her a call and it just so happened she had openings...FOR ALL THE KIDS. We went and met her and immediately fell in love with her. You loved her too.

September was a busy busy month. Mommy and Daddy got married on September 20th. We had family in from all over the U.S and they were staying with US!! The week before the wedding was extremely stressful, but we made it through. You and Tyler were pulled down the isle by Brandon. You both looked so adorable. You stayed the night in a hotel with Grammie and Grampie while Mommy and Daddy stayed in another hotel. The next day we were so happy to see you...we missed you. On September 22, Mommy, Daddy and You traveled to Atlantic City, NJ for our "babymoon" we had so much fun. You enjoyed so many things...all new to you. You got to put your feet in the Ocean, ate at all sorts of restaurants and walked up and down the boardwalk!! We got back safe and sound and missed your brothers.

In October we gained full custody of your brother Tyler and he moved in and got quickly adjusted. You love playing with him and lately all you do is defend yourself to him...knocking him over and playing "rough" with him.

Your first Thanksgiving was in November we spent it with Uncle Mark and Aunt Deb at their house with all of Grampies family. Grammie fed you turkey and you loved it...Surprise!

Then came your very first Christmas...Mommy was so emotional, we actually let you play with your presents while we were wrapping them, but you didn't have a clue!! We went to Uncle Mark and Aunt Deb's for Christmas Eve with Grammie and Grampie and then Daddy, Mommy, You and Brandon went back to their house for the night. We got up and went to church and then came back to open presents. You had more fun playing with the wrapping paper and the boxes than the presents!! In all you had 4 Christmas' The next 3 days following Christmas were filled with more presents.

Here were are in January already. Mommy remembered last January as being on "minor bedrest" Last January was quite boring and went by so slow. I remembered re-doing your room and re-arranging so many times to have it perfect. And now here we are you're already 1. We had an amazing party at Gramma and Grampie's with family in attendace. Uncle Kim, Aunt MaryAnn, Reah, Aunt Teresa, Uncle Craig, Jenn, Savannah, Caitlin, Great Grammie, and Uncle Bruce came to your party. You just loved your cake...heres a picture.

Also in January, Mommy and Daddy found out they were expecting another baby. So next year on your 2nd birthday you will be a big sister.

Kara Michelette, you are truly a dream come true. Thank you for changing my life. My love for you grows more everyday. Sometimes I just sit and watch you in total amazement all that you have learned in the past year it just simply amazes me! I love you pretty!


this post was done over a 4 day period...love this busy life...thanks for reading.

We're Doing It AGAIN!!!

Yes, please get the rolling of the eyes, they "holy shits", the "wow, so soon(s)" comments out of your system before reading on...

It's "un"official but because I have an extremely large family who already knows and a 3 year old son that has not stopped talking about it since the day he found out I decided that I probably ought to tell people before I get the "why didn't you tell me(s)" So, yes, Tim and I have been blessed with baby number 2 (4). I found out after much procrastination last Friday. Tim has been telling me he thinks I am pregnant by the way I am acting, I have been schulffing it off saying he's nuts. Yes, I admit, I have been more "bitchier" than normal, but I just can, I'm the mommy and I can. So we actually made a bet at dinner last Friday night that I am, so of course I hate to lose so I bought a test and when we got home ran right upstairs and took it and honestly I didn't think it would be positive but their was no 2 minute wait, that sucker was positive immediately. I began to cry, out of excitement/holy shitness/what am I going to do now/nerves/I lost a bet. All the emotions just came screaming down and just like with Kara I sat in the bathroom close to an house wondering what to do, "how am I going to tell my parents" much like a teenager would wonder but then I realized that even though I have 3 kids and my life is crazy and people look at us funny, I am married, own a home, have a full-time job, and pay my own bills, and have a very supporting husband with an amazing and rewarding job, so what am I worried about. I cried most of Friday night watching Kara play and just be so "grown up" She played with Brandon and us and I just cried. I can't believe she will be 1 next week, I am just at awe and I can't even talk or type about it because tears come to my eyes. My baby that I have dreamed and prayed for is growing up. It will be hard to have another one when I have given so much love to this little girl. It shall be interesting.

On that note, she has grown to be the walker/talker. She is so darn funny that I often just watch her without her knowing and laugh because of the things she does. With the help of Tyler she has learned that cars go on the floor and make the "Raspberry" sounds and that its fun to try to race cars, she has learned to fight and stand up for herself when her brother tries to take a toy away. Whether it be slap or hit or pull hair she will get her toy back or the one he has because she is the princess. Yes, we do punish her after we get done laughing! She has begun taking Mom and Tot swim lessons at the YMCA on Wednesday night. She is funny splashing and playing with other kids, she continues to go to "Ona's" and has actually learned a lot from playing with other children, actually today, she didn't want to leave! Because of her attitude and personality she has landed herself in Time Out at Fiona's a couple of times, she just thinks the word NO is too funny.

Tyler continues to make WONDERFUL strides at Preschool. He as well as Kara have learned that Mommy and Daddy don't have to be around 24/7 and that being away for a while is cool. I have a hard time getting him to leave school and just before Christmas he would whine and cry when he would see me at school, now he looks at me, blows me a kiss and continues what he is doing. I'm still so proud of him and what he has accomplished. We still have issues with his behavior at times, but we may have pinpointed much of that with being tired. We are still in the process of potty training, its getting better with the help of school. His speech is improving and he now has imaginary friends so when he thinks we aren't listening he jabbers to his friends. And my most favorite and recent thing is that he now says KARA not KWAWA. It's so unbelievably cute, his R's have made progress. Presently I am listening to Tyler scold his teachers Bridget and Kristin and his friends Anna, Cassie and Nate...all real people but not in my house!

Brandon has started playing the recorder for music class so currently I am listening to him toot his horn in his bedroom after an hour of "Mom, listen to this, do you like this song" Mom, I now know what you had to deal with; I'm sorry. Brandon has also started swim lessons on Wednesday night and swims like a fish. He will be our swimmer, we hope he continues to like it and excel in something he likes.

Tim also started back school last night. It was nice to have a month off with him being home, but it was a quick month and believe me we found stuff to do on those "off" nights. It seems we are still constantly on the go to where we had to change routine of things. We try to either eat really early (now that I get home at 2:45...love the school system) or really late like after swim lessons. But lately, while Tim works we like to stay in on cold nights (like tonight) and be in our pj's by 4!!! It's 5:10 and I'm looking forward to bed...sad isn't it.

I haven't been to the doctor yet, and I hate to jinx stuff, but hopefullly all is well. Everyone at work is taking bets because they laugh at me because I honestly don't know my last period, I haven't had one in so long. So today a co-worker really asked me, what would you do if they said you were due like next month? I laughed and then thought about that in depth...wow, February 6th can't come soon enough. Thanks to the Baby Boom at Fort Drum it's almost impossible to see a doctor.

Sorry for the long update, but I haven't updated on everyone in a while!! XXOO

Resolutions 2009

Oh, as many people say..."same resolution shit...different year" Yup, that's me...for the 5th year in a row, same resolution. I think my resolution last year might have been split between weight and giving birth to what I thought was a HUGE baby last year at this time, but obviously my plan backfired...not only didn't I lose weight, but the baby waited 27 more days to come out!!

This year, I've honestly, truly, compasionately (sp) taken a whole new step on not only "weigh loss" per say, but "healthier styles" I have finally hit rock bottom and been in a "funk" for about a week or two. It officially hit this past weekend. I weighed myself at my mothers and as much as I really don't need the "blogger world" to know because I'm unbelievably embarassed, I weigh more now than I ever have and I weigh more than I ever did while I was pregnant with Kara.

My thyroid (lack of one) may have something to do with it, but I'm sick and tired of using that as an excuse every damn time. Yes, I am on the highest dose I have EVER been and the doctors did tell me that after Kara my dose would lower, but it has only gone up...I've researched and researched, but it may come down to another opinion...possibly closer to home...but first...here's the new 09 plan.

• we WILL be utilizing our YMCA membership...even the daycare ladies said...we didn't think you would come back when we went tonight. I have started Water Aerobics Mon, Tues and Thurs nights and the kids do swim lessons on Wednesday nights!!
• I will be cooking more, eating out less...yes Mom, you think this is impossible, but convienence is the story of our life.
• I will be cooking with more whole grains, which means switching the kids to wheat bread, which yes, makes Brandon not too happy, but the 2 little ones, don't have a clue. Tim...whole other story...if he's hungry enough...he'll eat right?
• attending church as a family! Which again, may prove impossible after this weekend. Many of you are probably thinking...Tyler...nope my Tyler with a vagina...KARA....Holy Monster.
• and last but certainly not least...ME...Tim and I have agreed to give me one night alone, even if it is going to aerobics without taking all 3 kids to drop off...I get to go alone. He will make his class nights his alone nights, which gives me my nights!

There are many more, but it's more of a let's do this as a family year. I am so glad to have all 3 kids healthy and getting them involved in the community. This year, I want to be more active as a family. But until May, it will be hard, but we will be doing it as best as we can for now!

On another note, until I sign off for tonight, I just have to tell you that the first night of Water Aerobics went great....but I am extremely sore and irratible because I'm exhausted...when I told Tim I was going back tomorrow, he giggled and said...I love you hunny! Just remember I will help you and encourage you!