We're 3

Tyler made it, he's 3, and as we speak he is currently giving me quite the attitude, but I admit, it's probably the over tired, sick of people, presents and pizza attitude.

In a week we've been crazy busy. Last weekend, we had Grandma's 51st birthday, Kara made a cake (ok...Walmart did, Kara "picked it out") I made dinner for Mom we spent the night and then came home the next day. Then came Christmas Eve, I worked all day then we packed up and went to my Uncle Mark and Aunt Deb's house in Tylerville, stayed there most of the night, I ended up reliving old times and drove my drunken parents home while Tim, Kara and Brandon followed behind. When we got home Grandpa convinced Brandon that Santa loves Genny Light, so needless to say, Santa and his reindeer enjoyed Cookies, Milk and a whole can of Genny Light and Santa even left a note thanking Brandon for the great tasting beer!! We got up the next morning and went to Church with my step-brother and sister, Kara wasn't ready to get up for the day so during church she konked out! After church Mom and Dad watched the kids while Tim and I went to meet Heidi half way to get Tyler. He was so excited to see us, it had been 6 days since he had been home. We came back to Grammie and Grampies house and ate, and opened presents with Tiff, Tyler, Great Grampie, Grampie and Grammie. Great Grammie showed up later we got so much. Around 4:30 we all headed home, all 3 kids slept on the way home, thanks to all the fresh air they got playing outside! We unloaded, finished up some last minute (stocking) Santa stuff and woke the kids up to come inside...we all crashed after opening out gifts.

Friday was our Christmas with our "besties" Uncle Joe Joe, Aunt "May Beff", Olivia, Patrick and Courtney came over to open presents with us. After that it was nap time for all of us.

Saturday was Lyndaker Christmas back in Croghan, loaded the van and up we went for the day. The boys had a great time playing with all their cousins and we ate way too much.

Sunday--oh...Sunday...Mommy had the bright idea Saturday night to take the kids to Chuck E. Cheese...DUH MOMMY WHAT WERE U THINKING?????? We got up around 9 on Sunday and Tim and I contemplated we asked the Bova's to go with us...yeah they were smart and said they were busy. So we all got ready, packed the kids up and told them we were going for a ride. Ty and Kara were asleep before we got to Adams and Brandon by the time we got to Mexico, they woke right beofre we got there. Holy freakin busy...DUH Gabe, it was a weekend!! We stayed for a while and then went to the Mall to get Tyler his birthday presents. Ate dinner at Denny's (I was craving pancakes) and then came home and crashed.

...And here we are...Tyler's 3rd Birthday it's now 8:30, my house is finally back to "normal" and I'm getting a chance to finally upload pictures. I worked all day and I got the funniest phone call at work...all I heard was "MOM, I GOT DOLLARS" My Grandma Carolyn sent "Master" Tyler 2 dollars, he was so stinking excited...my dollars mommy, my dollars.

Here are a couple pics from our busy week!!! Love to All

Stay tuned, I'm sure my next post will be KARA'S 1ST BIRTHDAY...sniff sniff.

Things are starting to settle down

BUT SOMETIMES I LIE....So, Sunday after Turkey Day we picked up kids from Heidi's and headed off to go bowling (of course after nap time) and surprisingly Tyler did well, he didn't spazz like crazy when we got there, he sat still for me to change his shoes, we picked out a ball together, he carried it to the lanes, went to go through it for practice and BOOOOOMMMM down he goes, 8lb ball on top of finger. I chase the finger while Tyler runs to daddy, whining, yes just whining my finger, my finger. I gather ball up, look at Tim, Tim is white and mouths, "he needs F*%King stiches, much to my astonishment, I replied...what, you are totally over reacting, he takes his hand off Tyler's finger and it starts GUSHING Blood, Tim ran to the desk and said, I need a first aide kit...NOW, luckily, I stayed calm...yeah...me...weird huh. I gave Tim a couple "Seriously, Stop freaking out looks", I grabbed hat, mittens, boots, gave Brandon $20 and told the people we came with to have fun with Brandon and we will pick him up later, Tyler needs stiches. Ran to the car, with bowling shoes still in tact, packed up kids, made a couple phone calls, dropped Kara to my bestest friends house and headed for the ER...yup...packed...luckily Daddy-O pulled some strings (the joys of his job) and we were back in Minor Treatment in no time...no crying, no nothing...amazing for my almost diagnosed Autistic boy. (keep reading, the calm before the storm) We get back there and the nurse beings to examine him as he tells her his "finner" hurt, she begins to take the bandage off much to my surprise SCREAMING BEGINS...MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY NO NO NO MOMMY, yup wrapped back up, and we are sent for an x-ray...x-ray complete broke in 2 places, time for stiches, I will spare you the screaming hysterical detail, it was just bad, we will leave it at that!!!!! After we "all done" he was telling everyone about his "finner" and he broke it with big balls (lol...my kid) and it hurts bad...he told all the nurses thank you and bye friends...thanks to the great Tylenol with Codeine he was quite talkative to everyone!!! I am now convinced that my little boy does not need speech services at school anymore...GET OFF OF ME AND I WANNA GO HOME RIGHT NOW, came out quite clear in the ER. So here we are 8 days later, splinted, wrapped, and still broken, Tyler is now deathly afraid of his 10 month old sister, who thinks his finger is something to play with and take away from him, she will sneak up to him while he is watching TV and YANK it off, to the response of him screaming and her laughing (i love my little girl) so whenever she looks at him and smiles, he screams because he's scared. Stiches come out Thursday, and God only knows how long before it's completely healed, he's gonna have one heck of a scar because of where it's placed it was very hard to stich.

So....Monday night 9:30, my night consisted of...gormet meal for my family...hot dogs and mac cheese...oh yeah..carbs...then a trip to Urgent Care with the above named CHILD. I came home and the little shit had green stuff oozing from his eye, I looked at Tim and said...yeah, thanks for saving that for me...we ate, Brandon and Kara went to one of my co-workers house while Tyler and I went to Urgant Care where he proceeded to tell everyone there my finner broken...the PA took one look and said, yup PINK EYE...no daycare, no school and wash his hands. Ok...Tim is working nights all week and Ty has school tomorrow, I am busy at work...yeah...ok....so it took a lot of energy to make the decision that he needs to go to MOMMY HEIDI'S HOUSE because we have no where else to take him, I would normally stay home with him until Tim gets home at 8:30, but I'm so busy to where an HOUR is precious time at work...A WHOLE OTHER BLOG...THANK YOU GEORGE BUSH AND OUR ECONOMY....so he is off to his mothers, Brandon is asleep on the couch with the game controller in his hand and I am feeling myself ready for beddy bye...after praying I don't get the dreaded PINK EYE...y do they call it pink when his eye was oozing GREEN....people and their colors!

****PLEASE SAY A PRAYER FOR MY FRIEND SARAH AND HER FAMILY AS THEY ARE DEALING WITH HER FATHER'S ILLNESS SO CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS****

SARAH, YOU ARE IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS EVERYDAY...PLEASE CALL IF YOU NEED ANYTHING!

This Year...

Thanksgiving is a new meaning in so many ways. This year, not really unlike years previous, I have my daughter and husband to celebrate with. I am looking so forward to getting up in the morning with my husband and children (Brandon and Kara) and going to church to give thanks for everything we have. You know, I may not have millions, or make lots of money and love my job and life may not be perfectly perfect, but somedays I reflect on what I do have...really...I do have alot...alot more than many people around this world.

To start with I have FAMILY--my family is and always will be number ONE! I would give anything to have them with me my whole life. I have my husband whom which I can call my husband officially this Thanksgiving, my 2 step-sons whom step means nothing to me, they are and always will be my sons. My sweet precious daughter, whom God gave me after a lot of prayer and high hopes. I want so much for her and I will try my hardest to know that she will achieve all she wants in life.

I have FRIENDS--lately without family a mile away, I/We have the BESTEST friends anyone could ask for. Tim and I have found friends that we want in our lives, we want to do things as familes and we want our children, whom are close in age to grow up being best friends. I am so thankful that they are always a phone call away.

I have HEALTH--it may not be the greatest and I may not be a supermodel but I have decent health, nothing drastic (that medicine can't fix) is wrong and all my children are healthy.

and lastly, and second most importantly...I have FAITH IN GOD...recently that faith was tested in so many ways, and I learned and shared with my best friend that he really does listen and prayer really does work. That I should have known when I was able to concieve Kara but I doubted, which I know should have never happened, but I know that someone up there is watching out for me and my family and whomever, is a prayer away!

I really could go on and on but tonight, as the boys are gone getting our favorite ice cream and we get ready to settle down and watch a movie as a family, I will reflect on the past year and all I have to be thankful for and all that I will gain in the year to come.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE--GOD BLESS YOU ALL

God won't give you more...(A LONG ONE)

...than you can handle...right? I'm sure that's the saying and honestly I truly believe that it is true, but I have to say right now I feel so defeated by God, and just everyone. (No offense to anyone, but I am having a horrible November.)

Because I feel so much like a single mother and have no one, it seems I vent to this blog, trying to get more active, I think for a type of therapy, I need it. Thanks to my mother, who honestly, (i just noticed that I am using this word alot) knows me better than I know myself, always knows when somethings up! I get a card from her today and it just for once today, made me smile.

I often joke about being a single mother, but as I look around this house...yup...I'm single. As much as I can go on and on about the Army, I have to say that I know what they go through, in a way. Tim has started doing his clinicals for school, his last year, and with his work schedule and my schedule, I sat down before I started typing and I saw my husband 6.75 hours all week as of 7p.m. tonight...really...thats bad. I laugh about our schedule, and think it's crazy, so I want to share this past week with you:

• Monday (Heidi didn't take Tyler SURPRISE!!)--Kids to sitter, Tim to clinicals 7-4, Gabe to work 7:30-4, get kids at sitter, home at 4:20 and make dinner (I have 40 mins to prepare, set and eat), Tim goes to school at 5...pick up from dinner, dishes, pack Tim's lunch, help Brandon with homework, 2 younger kids bathed, jammies, relax time before bed (Dora or Diego) and kara bottle, BED...Tim comes home at 9:30 to find me sleeping on the couch, he wakes me and we go to bed, maybe minimal chit chat (see post below for what happened Monday)
• Tuesday--All kids to sitter with play clothes in hand, NO SCHOOL (extra pay for sitter for extra kid) Tim work 24 hours, Gabe work 7:30-4, get kids from sitter, actually made meatloaf for dinner for the kids and I, made soup for Wednesday dinner, cleaned up kitchen, helped B with homework, down time, talk to Daddy, bed for kids, laundry for me, and bed at 10:30-11:00, not before calling the cops on the neighbors dog who has been barking since 4:17.
• Wednesday--All kids up and out the door by 6:45 to sitter, work from 7:30-4, Tim gets out of work at 9, ran errands for me, never stopped to see me :-( clinicals from 9ish to 4, get kids, Tim heats up soup, eats soup, Tim leaves for school at 5, clean up kitchen, do dishes, grocery night (I'll have you know, I will be changing grocery night until Thursday)homework with Brandon, baths, relax time, Daddy actually comes home at 8:00, kids are in bed, kara is asleep on my chest, I'm dozing on couch, we go to bed.
• Thursday--Tim gets to sleep in! I get up and look out the window to find light on across the road at abandoned house, I freak out, Tim's awake, calls the cops, meanwhile Kara wakes up and is up for good, out of the house to get bloodwork done by 6a.m. Bloodwork done and in work by 6:30, meeting at 8, meeting at 9:30, deadlines to meet. Doctors appt at 3:15, Kids went to Heidi's Tim and Kara met me at doctors, there until 5p.m was going to have dinner with my husband when he decided he better get to Guilfoyle and be a student! I came home for an hour and then went to get the boys, back here regroup from their mothers, jammies and bed, Kara to bed, pack Tim's lunch, Brandon's lunch, get stuff around for Friday morning, Tim home at 11p.m to find me asleep in bed, wakes me up to kiss me, back to sleep I go.
• Friday--all kids to sitter, Tim to work 24, Gabe to work 7:30 to 4, drop kids of to Fiona's to find Kara's paci no where, told her she should be ok, but if she needed it call me and I would run home, called Tim to tell him and to see if maybe he could stop to get it on his way to Drum, gave me a run around, I ended up turning around and drive back to get it, run upstairs find it on our bed took it back to sitters, back on the road, meet Tim on road, flip Tim off and travel to work, hit every red light, get to Dunkin Donuts, decide that I'm already exhausted better go for the Latte with a double shot!!! get to work, deadlines deadlines deadlines...sick...sick...sick...cough...cough...cough...pee pee pee....called the doctor and the doctor said...you may have pneumonia, we will call you in an antibiotic call us if you aren't better by Monday. To Kinney's to get drugs, back to Fiona's to get kids, we are all home, oh yeah...dinner...scrambled eggs it is, Tyler wants cereal...4 bowls of cereal, hes a growing boy!!! After dinner, dishes, baths...here comes the best part, because I'm sure I've bored you...Everything is going hunky dory in the tubby, kids are playing, kara is out and dressed and it is just too quiet...Brandon comes to empty garbages and says TYLER (about the same TYLER as I heard Monday night) I asked what he did and he said, I see a little turd on the bottom, I freak out...yell at him only to find him to stand up and there is a MOUND of it on the bottom of the tub...I lost it...no lost it...2 times in one week...I lost it...so here I am, Kara's screaming in her crib being contained I'm screaming at Tyler while I scrub the toilet with bleach and water...coughing and screaming...get Tyler dressed, put him in the corner until he can say sorry, clean downstairs, Kara laundry night, and here I am...typing, as the kids are "relaxing"

Tonight is usually the night I go hang out with my best friend and the kids play, but she is so busy she doesn't have time either, and I really, until tonight didn't realize how much I enjoy that, yes, it's chaotic, but it really gives me time to just get out and watch the kids play with other kids and for once they aren't asking me for everything.

I've realized this past week that our family (Me and the kids) need something that every week we can look forward too. So after much research and determination I have decided to join the YMCA, it is really cheap when I go through work we get a 20% discount and they take it right out of my paycheck every bi-week, so it's not another bill I have to worry about paying. I'm so excited, there is no excuse anymore to work on ME. They have daycare there, they have activities for Brandon and he can start getting involved in sports and all that jazz. They have a pool where the kids can swim year round, I'm excited, I just have to wait till I can go (without kids) and sign up. Hopefully I can sneak away tomorrow to do all the paperwork.

Well my laundry just finished and even though it's Friday and only 7:30, it's relax time and I'm ready for relax time as well, but not as excited as I am for bed time! Thanks for listening and sorry to bore you with my problems!

Potty Training = Not Good News

Well, now that I've calmed down and am no longer "psycho mommy" I have decided to share my thoughts with people who I can't see nor hear laughing.

Tonight, I was doing my wifely duties, you know the laundry, cut Brandon's hair, sweep/mop the floor, dishes, counters, packing Tim's lunch for work tomorrow, my lunch, watching Kara...etc, you get the picture (did I mention Tim's at school?)

Well our lovely baby monitors are so sensitve (thank you to whomever got me that gift) I heard the boys arguing in the bathroom, now picture Brandon, just getting his hair cut and taking a shower to clean himself of the hair, when his 2 1/2 year old brother decides he wants to brush his teeth, which I may add he's obsessed with, well in the misdt of this potty training shit, Tyler decides he needs to go potty all by himself, but really Brandon is in there so he decides to watch this circus and not yell to me....please read on...

I'm in the kitchen when I hear...TYLER REID...SLAM...door shuts...so I run to the bottom of the stairs to hear Brandon gasping and saying OMG (oh my God) I ask what happens...no response...I hear Brandon say....Tyler go get Mom...by then I'm half way up the stairs on a mad dash to open the door and see Tyler bare assed with a stench I knew was his "POOP" I looked on the floor to which I saw turds...yes turds...feces, poop, turdes and it smeared on the toilet seat and all over his hands. I gasped and turned and (People please don't turn me in to Social Services) spanked his bare ass and sat him in the hall, much to my surprise when he got up to see more TURDS on my hallway floor...did I mention the wet roll (brand new roll) of toilet paper that he decided to dunk in the toilet and try to clean it up himself...god bless him...sooooo after yelling and screaming at both boys...Brandon for not getting me sooner, and he can't tell me he didn't see him because we have glass shower doors, he stood there and laughed.....both boys are to bed at 7:30 and Mommy is now laughing because really it's funny, but after the voicemail and text messages I left Tim, I won't be laughing when I see his face when he is brave enough to come back from school.

I only pray potty training gets better :-(

One Big Happy Family

Well, again, haven't updated in forever...Kara is now 21 and pregnant, Brandon is a doctor and Tyler's in jail!! So kidding.... Well it's official, I'm now a official mother of 3. We gained full custody of Tyler on Friday the 24th. That was the trail date, you know with all the witness and all that jazz. Well we never went into trail, as soon as Heidi and her public defender saw that we had a CPS worker and a doctor as our witnesses that we supeona'd (I really don't know how to spell that) they backed down, but not before the decision to pull him out of her house by the kids law guardian and the judge was made.

Her first question...what about Tyler's Social Security...I looked at her, my mouth dropped and I said "Heidi, it will come to us and go in his savings account just like the rest of the kids" she said oh...ok. Then after a little conversing we left, got 100 feet down Arsenal Street and she calls my cell..."One thing that wasn't discussed was Child Support" I started to laugh...and responded "Heidi, we can't get blood from a stone, you don't work and how do you expect us to gain money from you, we are not bad people, and we aren't worried about money, when you have Tyler, all we ask is that he is taken care of as he is taken care of here" "Oh...ok" It was her weekend this past weekend and needless to say he was back at 5a.m....yes 5a.m. on Sunday morning. He has to go back for one night overnight with her (Monday nights) and dinner on Thursday nights. It won't be long and she will stop seeing him just like Brandon...she hasn't seen Brandon since July 19th, but really whos counting. I was advised to wait 6 months (which will be January) and file for adoption on Brandon. He wants nothing to do with her, calls me Mom, Mommy, etc...and understands why she is the way she is...he is in counseling once a week, but he still understands.

Kara, my wild child is growing and making me laugh more every darn day. She now makes this face when shes excited or something amazes her and we call it her "O" face. She makes the darnest faces and noises. Of course...yes...she's spoiled rotten and I really don't know why I pay for birth control cause she is the perfect pill I've ever had to take...sleeps right between us, cuddled up to her daddy of course...Everything is Mom Mom...mamama...until Daddy walks in the doors, she books over to him with her mouth wide open (signaling a kiss). She will be 9 months tomorrow and we are looking foward to her first halloween as a COW...haha...whole other story, but to make it short, her biological maternal grandfather, if he claimed her...hates cows and calls lowville, cowville, I for one, think it's quite hilarious. She will be cutest MOO COW I have ever seen.

Tyler continues to make great strides and we are starting the potty thing this weekend. Brandon and I were at Walmart tonight and I bought diapers and underwear in the same isle, and I looked at him and said "this looks funny huh"? he said yea, kind of pointless. He is going to school with me 2 times a week and gets speech both days, he is talking so much more and actually talking in English, he says the funniest things and tries to use sign language (he's taught in school).

We are one big happy family, and enjoying being newlyweds, for what we see of each other!! Thats all for now!!! xxooo

thats my life!!!!

KARA ......NOooooooooooooooo

OMG! I can't believe what 2 weeks, a wedding, and a vacation with Kara has done...I'm typing right now watching this little turd crawl over to all my magazines and yank them off the shelf and kiss all the babies (they are those parenting mags) all while ripping them and I tell her No, she laughs at me...then she decides just a little bit ago that she's just too cool for crawling she's gonna go over the coffee table and pull her self up, look at me and laugh...where has my baby gone? She is crawling all over, babbling, drinking from a sippy...eating everything on the floor (which reminds me I should be vacuuming)...etc.



Well, my wedding went off without a major problem...other than you know Tim's brothers decided to start a fight with each other in the church parking lot, but thank God for bridesmaids who pushed me in the limo and got me a stiff drink...ugh...I'll never forgive them, but whatever, I still had a great time!



We went off to Atlantic City with Kara lulu and we had so much fun, I really enjoyed our family time as just the three of us, but it was exciting to get back and see the boys! Here are a couple pictures of my little 8 month old!

2 weeks...the countdown begins!

**EDITORS NOTE...I'M SEVERELY FURIOUS THAT I JUST LOST A WHOLE BLOG...AND I'M IN THE PROCESS OF GETTING OVER IT AND I'M GOING TO TRY TO REMEMBER SO HERE I GO...***

Hello People! I know its been awhile and that seems to be the introduction to many of my blogs, but after checking it hasn't been that long...really...just a month. So much has happened in the last month I will try to sum it up, leave the boring stuff out and try to make it a good blog.

---First things first...I'm two...yes 2 weeks away from my dream wedding...although I ruined a surprised today...sorry Mom, I love you to peices! Things are crazy in the Thomas household, but really, we will make it through. Tim reminded me today that his family will be here in like 10 days and we need to find room for a family of 4 to stay, which we have room, it's just "making room" Everything is all set, the dresses are all ready, I'm ready...lets get this show on the road!

---Secondly, school has started for Daddy, Mommy and Brandon, and Tyler will be starting September 29th! And my very most exciting news EVER...we found a babysitter...yeah...on staff development day at work, I was talking to a 1:1 aide thats been at JRC for 18 years and she grew up in Watertown and so in coversation I explained how we are in desperate need of a babysitter 2 1/2 days a week and she mentioned her neighbor who watches children and how great she is with them, so I came home that night, Tim was working and I decided to call her around 7ish. To my surprise and I'm sure I even started to cry she accepted...not only Kara but Brandon too! I thanked her like 20 times, I'm sure of it. The price is just amazing. This news came at a time where I had so much going on. We had it all figured out that I was going to resign from my job, Tim was going to work 12 hours of overtime to make up what I was losing (yeah...12 hours...freakin sad I know) and I was going to start watching baby Jayden just for my extra "Wal-Mart" money! I was so excited, we went the first day of school and met with her and I fell in love. Tim liked her...Kara was hilarious with the other kids and we were all ready for her to start on Tuesday the 9th, well circumstances that I didn't want landed me to need her on the 5th...I called her at like 7:30 on Thursday night to ask her if it would be ok she started early and she said no problem...YIPPPPEEEEE....she's just amazing...she's a great Christian girl with 3 kids of her own shes 43...just what I wanted...I can't stop raving over it.

---Thirdly, Tyler still isn't living with us, we are still "fighting" for what we feel is in his best interest, to get away from his mothers abusive home, what we think and what Judge Hunt think are two different things, but I'm sure if he were a fly on the wall when we "exchange" him back to his mother, he would see how much he really wants to live here. He is so excited to go to school, he frequently goes to the door, gets in the closet, gets his shoes and says...school Mommy...lets go! We did find out...shhh to all you bloggers, who I'm pretty sure are way above "Mommy of the Year" that during a recent CPS investigation in her house, Tyler escaped, got out the back door and was playing out front by the main road...really...yeah...I freaked out along with Tim when I told him, so we find out September 24th via phone conference from our Honeymoon spot (yet to be finalized) what Judge Hunt says about the investigation. Trail is set for October 24...wish us luck!

---Lastly, My PRINCESS is 7 months old already and she amazes me every single day. I never in a million years would have imagined that being a mother would be this rewarding. Every morning serves as a blessing to walk into her room and see her sitting up peeking over the railing and giving me the biggest smile ever, and I swear it gets bigger every morning. She has 2 bottom teeth that are half way through and you can see them when she smiles and giggles. We haven't mastered crawling, only rocking back and forth on all 4's, but I believe she has decided not to crawl, she wants to roll everywhere. I was just telling Tim at dinner that this morning I went to get Tyler breakfast and she was in the livingroom playing and when I came back in I couldn't find her, she had rolled over to her toys and was in the corner. I wouldn't have seen her if it wasn't for her giggling when she saw me. She is gaining weight, last check was 16lbs 3oz, a little small I think, but hey...I would have killed to be petite, so I will live through my daughter!!

As always I will promise to blog more and now that a trusty Watertown Possible First Lady reads my blog...thanks Jess I will try to do better. And really if I knew how to link other peoples blogs I would do it, maybe I will give it a try, but if I can't it's upstatejourney.blogspot.com...Jessica (Lynch) Renzi.

6 Months Already...sniff sniff

I think I may just try to get into some trouble today
All three of us
She loves her brother
cheese mommy!
at the doodlebops concert


Well, tomorrow we hit it...6 months, 6 freakin months since my baby made her grand enterance. I stare at her in total amazement as she sits on the floor laughing at her brothers making crazy faces, noises, and gestures toward her and she laughs and kicks and squeels at them, just her way of showing her love.





We have started foods as of yesterday. Everyone has their own opinion of what stage and what to give her and how much, mix with what, heat it, not to heat it... I'm so greek I have no idea what to give her when. So last night I gave her peaches...what a hit...she loved them, along with cereal after and then a drink of formula to wash it down. She didn't want her bottle right away, probably cause she wasn't hungry after all that yummy food, but it didn't seem to bother her. This morning it was just her, Tyler and I up and I decided that this morning we would try bananas...she loved them even more. So as I am feeding her I have decided to give her fruit in the morning and cereal and veggies at night. Maybe Veggies at dinner time and then her cereal and a bottle before she goes to bed. Any suggestions?...Sarah, Tracey, Kristi????? Come on mothers...help me out here!





Here are a couple pictures from recently...she's such a ham when it comes to the camera.

Cherish Life

Todays blog is a sad blog. I am sitting here tonight in total disbelief that the loss of a child has really hit home. Today while my day was winding down I decided with 10 minutes left of work that I would check newzjunky (a popular NNY website) where I always scroll down to the obits and see if I know anyone. Well to my absolute shock was a "Joseph M. Shinnick Jr." my first thought was oh my gosh, Kristi's boyfriend died...did he commit suicide, what happened", to open the obit and see that it was her 2 month old baby, named after daddy. I can't even describe to you the pain you feel, it hits you, right in the stomach, my heart literally ached...as I sit all alone in my office starring...just starring.

Well let me tell you about this "friend" Kristi...as I think I may have blogged about it while I was prego...Kristi was the best friend from Croghan who got upset because I named by baby Kara, her first born that was a premie and died shortly after birth. We were not friends at that time but she still didn't think it was right.

So now I sit, with tomorrow being the calling hour and funeral if I should go. I told my boss what was going on and he has no problem with me rearranging my schedule to go, but I really don't know what to do. She is the type of person who would literally for lack of better words tell me to "get the F%*K out" and truthfully I'm afraid I will drive to Lowville and thats what will happen. I'm really just lost for words and I am really just lost...I have nothing else to say...any suggestions?

I picked up Kara from daycare and I just held her...for an hour I never put her down...ok an hour and a half...I kissed her I bet 100 times and prayed with her. Everynight we say a prayer and she did look at me like it was bedtime, but I sat, cried, and prayed that I have a beautiful baby girl that I have always wanted...

...FYI...

...to all of you that know my future husband well, know that "he's always right" well, because I'm laughing to hard to call people and tell them what he just did, I'll blog about it....We are finally doing our wedding invitations and getting them ready to mail out. I am doing labels to response cards and he is in the kitchen stuffing invitations along with carefully and perfectly putting our return address labels on them. Well I am finished so I go into the kitchen to check on him...with sweat dripping off of him he looks up from the island with envelopes seperated, I asked him what he was doing...now please sit down for this next comment he made..."I'm separating by where they have to go because we have to pay more to send out invitations to out of state people" I gave him a look that I'm pretty sure I can't repeat...I asked him again, he started to get agitatied and repeated himself, now I just started laughing hysterically. I explained to him that no matter where it goes in the good ol USA its .47. Nope, he argued with me telling me thats why there is an out of town mailbox at the post-office...I couldn't stop laughing and I still can't!!!! I called my mother and had her explain to him too, but I think she couldn't stop laughing either, and he didn't want to talk to her!!

HUNNY...YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING...his response to this...I was just trying to save money...He is now sorting ones he can hand deliver...how personable. Gas is $4.20 a gallon and he wants to save .47 cents...god love him!

...so...sorry...

I first want to apologize for taking so long updating. I haven't been able to sit long enough without inturruption to blog. Let alone do anything these days. I'll update quick so you people aren't here all day...

Kara is getting huge weighing in at 14lbs 3 oz. To update from the last, we have the best babysitter in the world. I still love my job, and Tim is getting full time within the next couple weeks!!!! The wedding plans are coming great and things are starting to tie together...That's really all there is to update from the last blog.

4th of July weekend was spent in Croghan with all my family. Tim, Kara and I went up Thursday night (Brandon is with his mom for a whole week for summer visitation) Kara, as always, was the life of the party, but Thursday night didn't sleep well and I just figured since we haven't stayed there for a while she wasn't used to it and I changed her paci to wash the other one, so I just thought it was that! Well, Friday she didn't take long naps, but was still her funny ol' self, smiling at everyone and talking...talk...boy does she babble. Friday night she felt a little warm, but thought it was because of the sun and hot outside. We all went to bed and had a cranky Kara all night Friday night. Saturday she was warm when she got up so we gave her Tylenol all day, we did our thing and had fun, still not a lot of naps, she just wanted to be cuddled. Well it wasn't going away and finally after most fesitivies had ended on Sat. night she was really cranky and warm so I called great-grannie and she brought up a thermometer for Kara. We took her temp rectally (which I hate) and BAM 103.2. Tim immediately called the pediatrician and he said to keep watching her, strip her down, give her a cold bath and just keep doing what we are doing and if she is not better by tomorrow (Sunday) we would should call the office. Our peds office is open 7 days a week for sick kids! Well we didn't make it until Sunday, well technically, but...2:30 a.m. Kara woke up cranky I went to pick her up and just felt her burning up...I mean burning We took her temp and after Tylenol 103.5...yeah, I packed my shit and we headed to Watertown, from Croghan to the ER. I called the Pediatrician on the way and he met us there. Of course everyone knows Watertown and its finest on a Saturday night and on top of it 4th of July weekend. Bunch of drunk scum bags in the ER waiting to get seen...Theres a whole other story to this that if you want to know ask...I'll be happy to tell you. When we finally get called back they came right in a checked on her the docotor ordered a urine test to see if that showed any thing, so of course they came over with a catheter and I freaked out. I think I cried just as hard as her if not harder. The damn nurse couldn't find her little pee hole and I just finally said...please go get someone to help you....please. After a little bit they got it, it showed nothing we left around 730 with the diagnosis of just viral infection. We were told to alternate motrin and tylenol and called the dr. by Tuesday if nothing was better. We came back home to Watertown around 5 last night and I just cuddled her. We all slept downstairs where it was cooler because of the AC and she was up all night. I got up for good around 530 and did my shower thing and I was about ready to dry my hair when she got up. Tim was in the shower getting ready for work and all I did was pick her up and you would have thought I was murdering her. She screamed like you wouldn't believe...I finally calmed her down and took her upstairs. Tim felt her and just gave me that look. He got the thermometer and I started to dry my hair, when I saw the look he gave me I stoped my hair and knew that it was bad. 104.6. I grabbed clothes for him and me and we took off...called the dr. on the way and she said to come to the office she was already there (700). We saw her at the office where she ordered blood work and a chest xray. We ran to the hospital for that and by the time we left the hospital and got back to the dr office the results were already in (Yippe for SMC) Kara has ATYPICAL PNEUMONIA...wtf...how did my baby get pneumonia, no one smokes, no one has been sick, wtf. I said, are you sure, what are you going to do, is she going to be admitted, I started to cry with my 101 questions. Dr. Crane just said, we will give her a high dose of zithromax and that should kill whatever it is, either a pneumonia, which I am pretty sure, or a viral infection, but keep giving her tylenol and motrin.

So here we are 3:00p.m. on Monday and she just woke up from a 2 hour nap and she's 103.6...motrin down, cuddling with daddy. I just couldn't go to work today, I had to be here with my baby girl. I sat and watched her sleep for the longest time, then I just needed to get out and get fresh air. So hopefully this will work and she will be ok. Let me just say that the blood work and xray were horrible and I cried and cried...my poor baby girl...please say a prayer for her...

Disgusted

Ahhhhhh, thats me screaming if you must know! It's been a busy week for me here at work. I have been in meetings and meetings and meetings all of Tuesday, half of day today and half of day tomorrow. Work is being stacked up on my desk and I just seemed to be getting overwhelmed...no worries mom...i still love it and I see it as a career opportunity! Anyway, the reason for my whole post is that I am so mad at our babysitter right now. Let me tell you a little bit about our babysitter. Her name is Kim. Kim and I met in Carthage Hospital while I was working there. She came in for surgery and I registered her (I can tell that because she gave me permission) I asked her where she worked and she gave me her business card. She is a hairdresser who's shop is a block away. We had just moved to Watertown and we were looking for hairdressers. So she gave me her card and I told her that I would call her for an appt. So the rest is history. We became friends while she did our hair, she also did "passion" parties, so I had one! We became closer friends and talk everyday now, her daughter Ashley is in Brandon's class so we seem to "mesh" well together. Well she knows everyone it seems like, so when I was looking for daycare for Kara when I went back to work I asked her, she surprised me and said "I would love to do it" So she began watching Kara when I went back to the bank, when I got done there she watched her here and there when I needed her. Now she has been watching her M-Thurs because Tim goes to school from 9-12, so sometimes I drop her off when I go in, espicially when he is working. She even takes Brandon to school which is wonderful...

Today, while in a heated meeting, my phone lights up for a text message, me, who sits in the back anyway, looked at it nonchalantley and my mouth hit the floor...it read I will sum it up...Kara is stressing her out! I'm in total shock. She said that I can take a couple weeks to look for someone, but I don't even want to take her there if she's stressing her out!

I can't type anymore I'm in tears!

Kisses

The sweet little things that she is starting to do. I know that she doesn't know what really is going on, but to me, it's just priceless.

Last night we were bonding after Daddy went to work and Brandon went to bed and I gave her a kissy on the lips, well with her age now she just loves to open her mouth and stick her tongue out. Well I tried it on my cheek and I thought she would eat my face! She hands got going and she got excited I put my cheek next to her, she grabbed the other side of my face and attacked. It was so sweet I thought I would die laughing...no one around to see, so I tried taking pictures, but Kara has this camera thing, she will laugh, smile, be silly, until the camera comes out, then you can't get ANYTHING out of her, its like she knows...she's mommy's little BRAT!!! I have the cutest pictures taped right at eye level on my computer and I just stare into her eyes and melt...I don't know how I've lived without this baby girl in my life!

Neurotic Mother

Kara had her shots yesterday along with her 4 month well baby check up. She's doing fantasitc weighing in at 12lbs 14oz, 23 in long and is just perfect. She got 3 shots yesterday and an oral vaccine for roto-virus. She did ok, of course we cried, and cried, and then she fell asleep, thanks to the tylenol.

Daddy has her today along with Grammie, who came down to help out Mommy in her flower gardens (they look pretty now) Well around lunch time I called home to check on Kara bear and Tim said she was fine, Mom was holding her playing with her etc. Well not even 5 minutes later he texted me...yeah texted and asked what the number for the pediatrician is, he can't get ahold of anyone up there, I asked why and he replied with her temp is 103.1. I picked up the phone and called him and he's like hun, don't freak out she's ok, I just want to talk to the nurse, well as I keep talking and I talked to my mom she reassured me that kara was fine and that I shouldn't worry...yeah ok....my ass was on the phone with the doctors office, it's amazing how I was able to get ahold of someone...ugh...men! The nurse said she wanted to see her ASAP, so I peeked into my bosses office and my face must have said it all because he said "go...let me know if you need anything" I called Tim and said have her ready I'm coming home to get her. We left her with only a diaper and flew to her doctors. Of course there she was very talkative to everyone and everything and was a happy baby, but still burning up. When we got to the doctors her temp was 101.6 so it had gone down which was good, Dr. Khrane said that she thinks its just a form of the Roto-virus because of the vaccine. Her stools are EVERYWHERE!!!!! and of course while we were there she decided it would be cool to pee on me! So here I sit smelling like pee with a desk full of work to do...xxoo

Emotional Moment

My baby is already 4 months and I just can't seem to figure out where the time goes?! Last night, I got quite emotional with her as she sat and laughed at her daddy making silly faces and it seems the stupider he acts the harder she laughs. I sat and cried because it seems like just yesterday she was just a little squirt getting up in the night every 3 hours to eat. Now, she sleeps through the night, plays hard during the day and cuddles with Mommy when she gets home from a hard days work! Tim told me last night that he had her on his lap when he was on the computer, and I took this awesome picture of her last weekend on the new deck and she saw it, and started babbling to it and laughed, she saw herself and was amazed.

She has quite the attitude also, if she's pissed she will clench her hands together and spit at you. I laughed so hard the first time I saw this, I was the only one home so when Tim got home from work I tried to get her to do it, of course she didn't, but she did it to him yesterday. She's getting so darn big. Today is her 4 month check up with shots...I'm really bumming. I am taking off from work at 1230 and not coming back because I want to be with her. I hate seeing her go through pain, but I know she has to have them. Hopefully she will be our sweet little happy girl by tonight!

She was wide awake last night when it was Mommy's bedtime so we came upstairs and played in Mommy's bed until she got so tired, she grabbed her own paci and "mr. burpie" and feel asleep. No fussing, no rooching, just passed right out on mommy's pillow with her. I didn't want Tim to take her from me, but know that she just can't sleep with me, the way i move around. I don't know maybe I'm having some sort of attachment issue going on. I just can't express how much this little girl has changed my life by just being her! No words or actions can describe my love for this little girl.

6 crazy things...from Sarah

Sarah, my a dear friend, has tagged me for a '6 Quirky things about me
I don't know how to link, so I will just post these crazy things:

1. I have a stuffed animal that my mother gave me when I first flew on an airplane for the first time alone when I was 8...I still have it, her name is "peachy" because she used to be peach in color. I actually had it packed in my bag when I went into labor. I sleep with it every night and it drives Tim nuts...I plan on giving it to Kara someday, for now, I just let her play with it, Im not ready to give it to her yet.

2. I got pregant after I had my thyroid out, thats why I got pregnant!

3. My daughter is named after 4 different people...Kara (the name of the doctor that took my thyroid out) Michelette (my mothers name "michele", my middle name "collette" and Tim's godmother "Ms. Scholette")

4. I agree with Sarah, I miss being pregnant so badly, even though I complained on a daily basis, I miss feeling her kick inside of me, but everyday when she smiles at me makes all the pain so worth it.

5. I love to cook, contrary to what my family says...I just told like to take the time and spend 3 hours in the kitchen when I've worked all day. I'm not all about prep-time.

6. I get ready "bass-ackwards" in the morning, I pee, shower, brush my teeth, to my makeup, hair and then get dressed, I have it down to a tee on how long it takes me to get ready (it all depends on how I do my hair) I've recently diagnosed myself with OCD...it's weird. I time it from the time I get up to the time I get out the door...thank god for Tim because it's been 4 months and kara isn't integrated into my morning work schedule. Sometimes, she is, and it takes me an extra 30 mins. to get her ready.

I tag...Sarah again, Kristi and Stefania, oh and Tracey too...thats all because no one else that looks at this has a page...that I know of...if you do, let me know!!!!!

Early Morning Days

Well, its 930 a.m. and I feel like i've been up since 4...probably because I have! Miss Kara decided this morning at 4:10 that it was play time. She sat in her crib, talking away until I went to get her and she gave me the biggest smile I've ever seen...Daddy fixed a bottle and fed her while I dozed back off...she downed her bottle and then started talking and squealing (her new thing) so I was awake, playing with her...we listened to it rain, watched the sun come up and then she passed back out for a while, so Mommy could take a shower! It was hard for me to get going this morning. My hair looks like absolute crap this morning, my "friend" ironically came for a visit when I got up with Kara so I feel fat and bloated so I'm wearing a maternity shirt today to cover the extra weight! It's raining out, and just plain crappy day! Not to mention when I was walking out the door this morning (a little late I may add) I ran back for my checkbook, that of which I can't find!!! I'm sick to my stomach...I got to work and my office mate says, hunny, did you eat breakfast? I said...nope...she said, it's early, I'll watch your phones, run to starbucks and get a coffee...actually here's money get one for me and yourself...janet's a lifesaver! So my LARGE coffee with extra splenda and an extra shot of expresso is "cold coffee" now! But still good of course...

just thought I would vent a little...back to work!

The Fun Family Times

So, had to share this little story of last night...I got home at 430 after picking up the boys to find Tim still in his PJ's with a look on his face. My facial expression was surely a "what the hell are you still doing in your PJ's look" because he just started laughing. He said "hunny, I can't put her down, she just cries..." I laughed took her from him as he took Tyler from my arms. I played with her, changed her, and put her in her bouncy seat to watch me start to cook dinner...she was fine, so I'm starting to think that all she wants is just her mommy home! Sorry Kara, I really like this job, I think I'll be staying!

Anywho...the funny story is...after dinner and we got cleaned up and took Tyler back to meet Heidi. I had to run some errands I wrote out some checks to be deposited and paid, etc. We went to Target and Tim and I got laughing because anyone who knows me knows that I am a very indecisive person and so I was debated on a bag for work...all I came in there for was water and some office supplies...got the water along with everything else I didn't need and NOT the bag. Tim and I laughed so hard because he kept going "are you sure" "are you sure" "hun, you don't want this one?" Anyway, we left Target, all of us in a great mood. We head down Arsenal Street to hit traffic bad, now mind you its 8p.m. and traffic sucks in Watertown. I needed to go to Price Chopper to get WIC so I told him to keep going, well after 10 minutes of sitting in traffic making fun of other people, we cut through the mall parking lot and then I realized that I can't go to Price Chopper...I proceeded to tell him to cut back across one parking lot, then I told him to just never mind...we headed home...we get ONE...ONE block from our house and he says, anything else you need to do? I said "SHIT I need to go to the bank (BACK DOWN ARSENAL ST) we laughed so damn hard we had to pull over, I thought Brandon would pee his pants. Wait, there is a Community Bank on the square, we'll go there...we head down there...after trying 3 enterances no luck, we need to have a debit card to get into the night drop...down arsenal street we go, laughing all the way, again making fun at other people. We finally get to the bank, I get out to drop the payment off, Tim drives off (im giggling just typing this) and leaves me there, once again Brandon is laughing the whole time...kara of course is zonked out in the back seat. We head back home, Tim says once again, "anything else hunny?" I said, no...he goes well after all that I need a coffee!!! We got our coffee and headed home!

Thanks for listening, I'm sure this doesn't sound as funny when you read it, its just one of those things that you had to be there to enjoy it!

Mommy's First Day

Mommy started her new job this morning and I stayed home with my daddy. My daddy and me had so much fun we played and played and played until I fell asleep in his arms. I like sleeping in daddy's arms, he seems to have just the right amount of hair to cushion my bald spot. Speaking of bald spot...daddy has one too. Mommy said he is just getting old(ER).

Mommy wrote down everytime I should eat throughout the day and a dont forget daddy to change my diaper note. He's the best daddy but sometimes we play soo much that I pee sooo much that I pee on daddy cause my diaper is full. Mommy only called home a few times to check on me...but with her having her own office, she texts daddy all day to see how i am. she says I am her pride and joy and love of her life, someday I will know what that means.

Mommy loves her job, so far. She met so many new people and they were all really really nice to her. She has her first meeting tomorrow and she is quite nervous, her big boss is quite intimidating, so she hears. Anyway, thanks for reading...I go to miss kims tomorrow, so I'm sure mommy will call her a lot more than she calls daddy!

kisses to all

p.s. i like to kiss with tongue...
p.s.s mommy is still at work and can't wait to come home and get tongue kisses from me!
p.s.s.s don't you love how mommy can read my mind from work?

My all time favorite picture

its just my favorite...look at it

Kool Krap about Kara

As we are approaching the 4month mark (I know I can't freakin believe it) I thought I would share some cool things that I can do:

1.) I have found facination in TV...not cartoons, I am more particular to Lifetime, and love crayola crayon commercials. If I am fussy mommy puts me in front of the TV and I start talking and laughing at it...I'm not sure if it is the sounds or because our 57in TV is like a movie theater to me.

2.) I love to stand up, look around and talk to you...I am strong, but when I get lazy I will drop to my knees and still talk to you.

3.) I have discovered the new thing called sitting up...we love it...except when I try it in my carseat I get really really pissed cause I'm strapped in.

4.) I am sleeping in my own bed now, we have weined away from the swing

5.) Daddy makes me laugh the hardest...and I'm pretty sure one of these days I will pop because of my laughing so hard...I love my daddy

6.) my new golden hour is 5a.m. and I love to talk and laugh and play...until of course its time to go back to sleep.

7.) Cat naps drive mommy nuts...she gets nothing done

8.) I've finally grown out of my 0-3 mo clothes...apparently grammie doesn't think I have enough other ones, so she continues to buy me more!

9.) I can't sleep without my paci and my "mr. burpie", and burpie has to go over my face, cause if it's not I will fight until I get it there myself.

10.) And lastly, when Mommy takes away my paci, I love to suck my thumb sideways...Mommy is trying to get a picture, but I always gag myself before she takes the picture...haha

Hope you are starting to know me better...I'm getting big and growing so fast, mommy cries all the time cause she doesn't want me to grow up.

My mommy got a new job and she is really going to like this one, it's almost everything she's ever dreamed of...she will be the Secretary/Director of Pre-School at Jefferson Rehabilitation Center...she has her own office, and has 51 students to care for...she is getting real excited, she starts the 19th. I will be staying home with daddy lots of days but some days I will be going to Ms. Kims house, she's cool, her daughter just loves to play with me...and I love socks, their cat, shes furry and friendly, I laugh at her! Mommy says when Tyler comes to live with us (hopefully soon) he won't be going to Ms. Kims, he will be going to work with Mommy cause they have daycare, and it's cheap too!!

Oh...I almost forgot...my new swimming is in and the deck is alomst done...I have a hot new bikini i am dying to wear....I'll have mommy post pics when I get to wear it...I hear mommy saying that she wants to play dress up real soon, because I smile so much and it's so pretty...

oh yeah...my hair...its dark when I'm inside, but it's red when I go outside...mommy and grammie said, they will keep me inside so it stays dark...thats all for now, mommy wants to play

love you all

So Much to Update

Well, where to begin. My princess tubby is getting TUBBY! I put an outfit on her today and she just looked so darn cute and chubby! While I am typing she is sitting in her swing in front of the TV, yelling at me. You know the not really crying, love hearing myself babble, mommy come get me noise. Just this morning Tim was holding her in a sitting position on the couch and we were chatting when all of a sudden she just started laughing...we both looked at her and her eyes were glued to the TV, a crayola crayon commercial...too funny...

She is sleeping awesome. She eats about 9-930ish and is out until 7a.m. And 7a.m on the dot. We don't need an alarm clock, she is ours. And its really funny because before Kara was born and we had Tyler he was the exact same way...7a.m. not a minute before or a minute after 7. Everyday she continues to amaze us. She did start laughing just last weekend. She laughed for the first time at Tyler he was playing and talking to her and she just started going...he belly got going and then her whole body shook and she laughed and laughed...I cried. We have noticed in the last couple weeks that her attitude is increasing. Tim told my mother she really acts like me...she wants what she wants and wants it yesterday! When we put her down to take a nap, she kicks the swing until we pick her up. She has daddy's temper...red heads anyway!!! I could really go on forever, but her babbling has turned to COME PICK ME UP NOW MOTHER!...heres some pictures and as always I promise to post more often! p.s. as i was uploading i remembered and noticed that most all of our pictures are on our phones...guess i will start to transfer to computer this weekend!

love to all

UGH

I'm so totally pissed right now because I updated a whole long thing (people say if I don't wait as long to update it wouldn't be so long...but...) and I went to click submit and "blogger" was having issues...Well blogger not as many issues as I had before you erased them friggers! Anywho...I will post more next week of my lastest and greatest saga of LIFE in general...this blog even had pictures too...ugh....mad mad mad...

up to Mom and Dads for the weekend...after a date night with hubbykins tonight...grandmas funeral tomorrow...have a great weekend all

xxoo

All Smiles; All the Time

You read it, it's so funny how much she smiles. My little girl is growing up so fast right before my eyes. I will never forget the date when she first smiled when we talked to her...St. Patty's Day...I came home from work and she was in her carseat ready to go bye bye because Daddy was taking us out to dinner, and I kissed her and talked to her and she gave me the biggest smile...and then another one...of course I cried like a baby, and ever since then...you know...I'm so awesome at updating she smiles all the time. She is starting to get her own personality, which I apologize to Tim about because she acts just like her mommy...if she doesn't get her own way, she's pissed! I will go in her room in the morning because she is stirring around, hoping to put her paci in her mouth and get a few more minutes of shut eye, but when I go in her eyes are wide open and she gives me the biggest smile, so of course I'm up for good and just want to play.

She loves....loves....loves being naked, in fact I often get her naked when she is fussy, it calms her down! My mother tried it this past weekend and Kara peed all over their new leather couch!!!...I warned her!

Kara lost her great-grandmother on Thursday last week. She had been battling cancer now for 5 years and is now pain free with God. It's been a rough couple of days especially with them living in Florida, so we pretty much feel helpless up here, but things are getting taken care of down there and plans up here are going well. My dad said on Thursday while hugging Kara, that Kara is proof that life goes on...one dies...another is born...we love you Great Grammie Dot.

I took on a challenge this Monday morning, I decided I would agree to watch a 3 week old little boy for a couple of hours, while his mommy took a test. I have talked to this lady...well Gwen many times, her husband graduated HS with Tim so we've chatted and while we were sharing day care difficulties I opened my mouth and said, well if Tim gets his lovely job, I will be more than happy to watch Jayden 2 days a week. So today she had to go to work to take a test (shes a nurse) and I watched baby Jayden. Kara was sleeping when he got here and so was he but they both decided to wake up simultaneously! Good thing Gwen was still here cause Jayden had a blow out diaper and Kara just wanted to be cuddled and put back to sleep. I'm not going into a lot of detail because I could type for hours, but I now realize that God makes children incubate for 9 months to give mothers a repreive. Having a 10 week old and a 3 week old was quite difficult. It felt like twins because they weigh the same...give or take a couple oz.

Well I have laundry and cleaning and Tim's online class to do...yeah yeah yeah...I know...but it's algebra and I love it, so its fun for me!

xxoo

Emotional Couple of Days

First things first...Miss Kara had her 2 month check up today...with shots...it wasn't as bad (for Tim and I) as I thought it would be, but still heartbreaking. My wonderful mother went with us, I think for moral support for me! Kara was naked and played on the table for a while before they came in...the doctor examined her...she's perfect...of course...and then she explained what vaccines she would be getting and what to expect, etc...then she got fussy and started to go to sleep in Grammie's arms when the mean shot lady came in...we laid her down on the table and Tim was next to her as I was at her head and one...two...three...scream"age" I tried to talk to her, but I was crying with her, the poor little girl was crying so much that she wouldn't breathe...I put a little breath in her face and she gasped for air...I quickly picked her up afterward and hugged her and told her sorry, and she just cuddled and fell right asleep...I think she wore her self out kicking and playing while being naked! She's still sleeping now as a matter of fact...3 hours later...but she didn't sleep much last night, I think she knew what was coming today!

Grampie had is 52nd birthday yesterday, along with Brandon who turned 9...Grampie was so excited to have Kara as his birthday present...along with a few beers. I'll tell you, I never imagined how he would be with her, I just figured it would be "just another baby" with Dad (Steve, that is, I totally disowned my "donor", but that's a whole other story that I really would need weeks to type, so from now on, Steve ((my step-father)) is referred to as Dad) but he is head over heals in love with this little girl and she is wrapped right around his finger! He misses her so much and often tells mom he can't wait a week to see her. He was happy and emotional too last night! We were glad that he had a great birthday.

My hormones (thanks to that lovely lack of thyroid and me just completely going off my medication) have taken a toll. I haven't..let's say...been the greatest person to live with the past couple of weeks, and worse recently. My hormones are all out of whack and I have to go Monday back to Syracuse to see what our next step would be. I know that I can't give up on myself or my body because I have a beautiful baby girl to take care of and a family that loves me. But, somedays I just wonder what my body would be like if they had just left my thyroid in there!

Anyway, I started this a while ago then Kara got fussy, so I fed her and gave her some tylenol, and now she just wants to be played with...thats all for now

xxoo to all

God Answers Prayers

Kara's first week with Daddy went awesome. They bonded all day, made up songs about me and helped out Mommy with the laundry. We met for lunch everyday and I got to kiss her up, I even got to feed her one day!

Tim's dad left to go back to Florida on Saturday, and the weekend just flew by. It started Friday night and never stopped until Sunday night. We had dinner with his dad and brother and SIL on Friday night at Art's Jug and let me just tell you that I thought someone had kidnapped our kids and gave us saints! I sat at the opposite end of the table with Tim's SIL. the kids...Makayla included sat down near Tim. I was nervous all week about this restaurant, for those who don't know is one of Watertown's better restaurants...not really kid friendly! Tim worked all Friday night and early Saturday morning we all met at Denny's with Tim's Aunt's and Uncle's for Breakfast and then we headed for Syraucse airport, from there we went up to my Mom and Dad's to have my Auntie Teresa meet Kara Bear for the first. We ate our Easter Dinner with my Mom and Dad and Step-brother and sister. Then we just crashed. Got up early for Sunday Easter Mass and then went to my Grandma's where I received the wonderful phone call from my boss (my job along with another one was terminated, I don't need to come to work on Monday) I was beside myself. But in a way a little happy, it gives me a chance to stay home with Kara. Tim was offered an AWESOME Job and hopefully in a couple weeks we will know the final answer (which we were already told he was hired) So the last 2 days were wonderful with Kara. I've gotten up early and got stuff done around the house, etc.

So, I am starting the job search again, but possibly just part time. I know I need benefits (Kara is covered until she is 1) but if it means staying with my little girl than I will. I am still employed at Guilfoyle and can pretty much set my own hours and work when I want (not to mention make 2x what I made at the bank) So 2 12 hour shifts a week will be my 40 hour week at the bank, just no benefits.

Other than that things are coming along well, most all of Kara's Easter pictures are on my Mom's camera so when I can get them I will post them! Easter just wasn't the same at 6 degrees!

love to all

It wasn't that bad!

Well, back to work today! Daddy is our hero and stayed home, as it seems he will be doing until we either a. find a new babysitter or b. till daddy gets a job and mommy can stay home (which pray that will happen by the end of the month!!!!) Our sitter cancelled last Thursday because she was kind of upset that the only day I needed her this week was Thursday. She thought that it would be guarenteed hours and needs the money. So daddy decided that he would work nights and mommy would work days.

Anyway, I'll post more later, Kara is crying because it's bath time!

She's AMAZING...PERFECT...and everything in between

Again, I will say, every single day Miss Kara amazes me. Its like everytime I look at her she looks different or does something different to make me smile. She makes the funniest faces when she's awake, she laughs in her sleep and frowns and whines as well. Everything makes me smile, knowing I was a part in making this precious little girl. We have a little bit of a spoiled little girl, but I'm thinking thats alright. Just like mommy, she will get everything she asks for...and more...if I have anything to say about it.

She has developed in a short 5 weeks her own little personality. I was explaining it to Tim today when she started crying....I said "it's her sad cry, she wants to be held" and viola...she stops! She gave us "the lip" today and I cried...it was so darn cute!

Well, we are still on the search for the right formula. We've been on Enfamil Lipil AR (Added rice) for about 2 weeks now, but recently we found that she has been gaging more thinking that her reflux is getting worse. The only good thing about this is that it's thicker and she sleeps longer at night. So yesterday we went to the doctor to see if it was getting worse and see what our next avenue is. He decided to switch her to Enfamil ProSobee (soy based)...let me tell you, we tried that last night, and Tim was in class so he didn't get the pleasure of trying to get her to eat the nasty crap, that stuff was so thin, and to start with I had a level 2 nipple (for the thicker stuff) and I realized it when I heard her drinking to fast, so I switched....she started to suck and started to scream...ok...back to the level 2...she liked it, so 4 oz later she was drinking so fast and making faces and the stuff all came back out. She burped, I gagged because it stunk BAD! At bedtime Daddy fed her and noticed how it was all coming out and said...she can't be getting enough so when she fell asleep and we dozed off around midnight, the monitors started!!! She slept for a while, around 4 the monitors started again. Now mind you the monitors haven't been going off (other than for the wires not hooked up good) for 2 weeks. So at the 5a.m. feeding, Daddy said enough was enough and he was going back to the AR...needless to say she was still sleeping at 10a.m.! When Marras Home Care called about the monitor because the doctor in Syracuse said to discontinue it (because their is nothing wrong apnea wise...yippee, he just belives its reflux...the times she stopped breathing her heartrate stayed the same so its not true apnea like we all thought) I talked to the respiratory therapist Chris and he explained that the reflux might be getting worse that when she starsts to spit up it hurts so bad acid wise that she stops breathing for a bit, sometimes worse than others. It all makes sense, but for my sanity we have the monitor for another month!!!!

Other than she's growing like a weed weighing in at 9lbs on Tuesday, I am getting more testy to everyone about holding her because I go back to work on the 17th!... :-(

We got some professional pictures done...of Kara...we went there with no intentions of getting her pictures done, but because the boys weren't very cooperative along with my glare of my glasses, kara was the star that day! Check out the pics!

love to all

xxoo

I LOVE MY LIFE

Life has changed in so many ways. I find myself viewing things differently than I did before Kara was here. For one, I never...NEVER take things for granted anymore (thanks Kristi for opening my eyes to that on your blog). It's almost just too hard to imagine how I view things in a different kind of way. My main focus now is my child...it's so weird to say that...my child...my daughter.

Speaking of MY DAUGHTER (well Tim had some to do in her) she is growing like a weed. Technically she will be 1 month old on the 28th, but yesterday I gave birth 4 weeks ago, so when people ask how old she is I just say 4 weeks. I haven't posted in a week...ok 8 days, so I thought I would quickly update, before getting back to my cleaning...yes...cleaning...I've gotten motivation and energy back to go crazy in my house...it just feels so cluttery in here with all her stuff! ANYWAY....our WIC appointment was last week and my little Tubby Tubby weights 8lbs 9oz already, we have outgrown our Newborn clothing and are well on our way to 0-3month clothing. Although depending on the brand she does fit into some 3-6month clothing already. I could really go on and on and on on how much I love being a mother, everyday is a new day and new first. I find myself taking pictures everyday. My parents are in Florida for the week and they get 3-4 text message pictures a day (which I don't think my mother realizes that they cost money yet...sorry mom...it's for Kara though). She grows everyday and makes me smile all day long.

She has been getting alot better...along with me...She still gags ALOT, but I have myself believing its because that's all I do...I gag at the littliest things. I don't panic anymore when she starts gagging, I usually just let her do her thing and come out of it. If it's a really hard gag, I may pick her up and pat her on the back, but I usually just glance at her. YEAH for me!!! We monitor her just at night and she is now in her own bedroom at night sleeping, I just don't think she liked her bassenette very much, she never slept. I think it's because of Daddy's snoring, but we will never know! We have started...yes...started (4 weeks later) trying to get into a routine...pattern...etc. We have our nighttime routine almost down...2oz at 730-800 then bathtime, rubby rubby time, try to keep her awake for about 30-45 minutes then 3-4 more oz and she's out around 10ish and sleeps until 430-500a.m. She gets a bottle then and goes back to sleep until about 9-10 when shes up for about 2 hours after her bottle. So I'm kind of liking that a little bit, although I told Tim this morning that I need to get out of the habit of putting her to bed late at night and sleeping late in the morning because it will be really hard for me when I go back to work.

We go back to court tomorrow for more crap...maybe tomorrow will be the judges ruling, but somehow I think it won't be! And then on Thursday is our 1 month check up, so if I remember and things aren't going hectic I will post more then.

P.S. If you people have time could you please pray for our "couple best friends" Joe and MaryBeth lost Joe's dad this morning of Heart Failure, he's been in the hospital for about a month, he was a great guy. He prayed for Kara when she was in the hospital with the minister that came to see him everyday. He will hold a special place in our hearts. Please remember him.

I'm so happy to be a MOMMY!!! I just had to post a couple pictures of me and my princess. My love for her grows daily!

p.s. not to brag, but I'm just so damn proud, after 3 weeks I'm in my pre-prego jeans (the button ones...no stretchy shit)...I'm so happy I'm going to keep going because in 7 short months and 2 days I'm going to be in a pretty white dress at my wedding! But I have to admit the stretchy ones were nice, it didn't take as long in the bathroom, didn't have to fiddle with the button and break a nail, which I did today!

3 Week Update!

Miss Princess Kara is 3 weeks old TODAY! I can't believe it's been 3 whole weeks. I said to my wonderful mother yesterday that I constantly re-live my water breaking experiance. It was so funny and it's something I really don't want to forget. I want to remember every waking day with Kara and especially how she came into this world.

Things are coming along great. My emotions have for the most part seized. Even though I often get teary eyed when I think about going back to work, but hopefully we have FOUND...yes FOUND a babysitter who Tim and I can trust (I trust her enough to do my hair...yes she is my hairdresser). I was asking my friend and hairdresser Kim if she knew anybody, because she knows a lot of people who babysat and that is great. She started asking me all the particulars like when and what times and how much, etc. and I kind of got the hint that she may be thinking about doing it when she was asking these questions but I didn't get my hopes up, but sure enough she said..."well, what about me, I've been looking for a day job" I lit right up and it made my day...I was so excited. I told her that I would talk it over with Tim and the price with Tim and get back to her. I'm pretty sure we are going with her but just have to finalize some budget things....you know me and my budgeting!!! She's great...no pets, non-smoker, drinker, but weekends only..hehe! She has an 8 year old thats in Brandon's class too, so that's great!

Kara, on the other hand, is WONDERFUL as well. We are still dealing with her breathing issues, but hopefully she has grown out of it and everything is fine. We switched her formula to AR (added rice) from the lipil stuff...it's all nasty to me, the names don't phase me. It seems to be helping her gagging, she's not doing it as much, but still is. Her zantac is going well, she's a trooper. I licked some off my finger last night and thought I would die...that stuff is gross! She seems to take it without it bothering her. We go back to the pediatrician on the 28th, so hopefully she won't have to re-new her perscription.

We ventured along Interstate 81 on Tuesday last week to visit the specialist in Syracuse at St. Joseph's Hospital. My opinion he's kind of arrogant, but my mom and Tim thought otherwise, so I went with the flow. I had a lump in my throat the whole time, I wanted to burst into tears pretty much the whole time he was in the room with us. He explained a lot of things (pretty much like we were stupid first-time parents, until Tim started in with his medical lingo and showed the doctor that we weren't just any joe schmo's from off the street) about what is going on and what to expect and what not to expect in newborns. Apparently this is all normal to him, but they were ordering what they call a 3 channel test. The test will be exactly the same one she is on now (the one for her breathing and heartrate) but will add another wire and measure the oxygen in her blood (pulse oximeter)....great...another test...o and it's for 48 hours...2 whole days...what about walmart? Marra's Homecare came on Friday and hooked the test up and by Friday night, I was ripping wires off left and right and was going to throw the machine out the window. Around 430 (about 9 hours into the test) we saw that her heartrate even when she slept was going into the 200's and her pulse ox would drop in the 80's, and it went on for about a half hour...so the nurotic mother I am...called the pediatrician, who told us to call our Syracuse doctor who obviously was out of the office at 430 on a Friday afternoon, so here, please press 1 for the on-call....the on-call was busy press 1 for the St. Joe's NICU Floor, "hi, I'm an RN what's going on...o...let me have you talk to the NICU Charge Nurse....o...well if she's not changing colors, I would give it until tomorrow and call your pediatrician, sounds like it's not an apnea problem. EXCUSE ME...TOMORROW...yes our pediatrician is open on Saturday's but...hello...tomorrow? Well, we delt with this all night, of course I was not in any mood Friday night, but a mood to hold her and watch her and worry. Friday night had to have been the worst night I have ever had with my daughter. Alarms going off all night, her crying, me crying, Tim crying because I'm crying and frustrated...OUT CAME THE WIRES...F$%K this. I am calling Dr. Victoria first thing this morning. Saturday morning came...ring ring to the pediatrican, let me have you talk to the nurse...hello hunny, what's going on...what's going on...well let me tell you! She says well it's definitley not normal, let me talk to the doctor and I'll call you back...3 hours later I call her back...well did you talk to him? nope, but I will....ugh....she calls me back and says I need to call Syracuse and get ahold of him...I explained how I did and what they told me and she says DO IT AGAIN....syracuse...ring ring press 1 for...press 2 to page...well we will page this time!!!!!! paged...waited...waited....waited...we called again press 1 for....press to 2 page...ONE....leave a message and someone will call you back....message left...waited....waited...waited...Dr. Victoria I'm calling you back....I finally broke down to the nurse and she cried with me...hunny it's ok....we are here for you...how bout you call Marra's and see what they think....well Marra's got a hold of Dr. Constentine in Syracuse and he said to turn the alrams off! WHAT THE HELL...just turn the alarms off? Ok...whatever...so they pay some nice gentleman $20/hour to come to my house for 2 minutes to use my screwdriver and turn the alarm off on the monitor...OK PEOPLE I'M GIVING YOU ONE LAST CHANCE. We hook her up at bedtime and we drift off to sleep...5 minutes later...BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPP.....I looked at Tim and shook my head...yeah...no one turned nothing off! Daddy got pissed this time and yanked wires out and said enough is enough.

Needless to say the Respiatory Therapist we have been dealing with since the hospital came out today to pick up the monitor and heard the whole weekend story and said he really didn't blame us for what we did, but we should know that Dr. Constentine is not one of their favorite people and he will be mad at what we did. I looked at Chris the nice man and said...well hunny, if he takes it out on you, you be sure to give him my number, here's my cell number and here's Tim's pager also...tell him to call, I will be HAPPY to talk to him. Chris, also has a baby he's 4 mos old who is dealing with this too, he said he found a doctor in Rochester he likes. He was going to go back and download the chip from the monitor and call us if it shows anything...it's been almost 2 hours so hopefully no news is good news.

I'm a little out of order on my events, but you people get the issue.

Well, my spoiled rotten princess is fussing because he is having a little floor time and mommy isn't holding her, so I guess it's time to wrap up and smooch my baby girl.

xxoo to all

p.s. her fussy-ness couldn't be from spending the night with mommy and daddy at Grammie's and being kissed and snuggled and held by Grammie and Grampie the whole time we were there?! could it?