Mixed Emotions

So much has happened in our lives in the past 2 weeks there is no way I can relive it all and type it all down. Most everyone knows but long story short...Tim lost a AWESOME Friend and Co-worker Jan 30th to a senseless act and our lives will never be the same when Daddy walks out the door.

Now that I've started I don't think I can stop...my husband helps people he shouldn't have to let his guard down when he goes into a house to help someone ailing of pain or suffering. My husband is not in the military nor he is a policeman who both have extensive training with guns to protect themselves along with the proper equipment. I often laugh when people ask me what he has for protection and I say...scissors. And honestly up until this happened Tim never carried scissors with him. I understand what military and police officer's wives go through now, but never did I ever think living here in the BIG city of Watertown would we ever have to worry about Daddy working...yes I do occasionally get worried on Friday and Saturday nights but since this...it's just no sleep at all worried. And the moral to the story is that those military wives and police officer's wives chose to marry those men in those professions. I married my man because I love him, I'm proud of what he does and I could go on. Never, ever in my life did I think I would have to worry this much. I'm sure it will fade but not anytime soon. That is one week I never want to relive. Granted, it's not over for Tim, he still has the "what if's" and the "well's" and I'm sure he will for a long time. I got the pleasure of doing a trip with Mark during my pregnancy...I have to share...When I was pregnant and working at Guilfoyle doing Trips I got a call the night before to be in quarters at 8a.m. that I was taking a gentleman from Alex Bay to Syracuse for a doctors appointment and back home. Already knowing that would be a long day I asked the dispatcher who my partner was, he said Mark Davis...a new kid. I said great the new kid everyone is complaining about, he wears his hat backwards, he just looks like a doof and he is probably useless.

I learned more about Mark Davis that day than I can tell you. Mark introduced himself to me when we got to quarters, Mark asked me how I was feeling (he knew I was prego) he told me that he personally knows this guy and he will take care of most of the lifting for me. Well when we walked into this guys house little did I know he had no legs was completely on life support and definitley needed 2 people. Mark and I lifted this guy and he kept his eye on me. Noticing that I gaged a few times because of the smell he made up this excuse for me to go get something in the bus, he winked and I knew he told me to go outside to get fresh air. I drove on the way down while he monitored the patient and when we got to the appointment we chatted while this man was in his appointment. He asked me how I was feeling and if I could handle monitoring him on the way back (this was the rule at GEMS) I said yes, and he said well if you can't I have no problem doing it. All the way home he kept asking how I was because he knew this man stunk!!! He even stopped in Central Square at Burger King to let me get fresh air! I was so pleased to have gotten to go with Mark that day. Just an all around nice guy, I was so honored to know him and call him my friend. He will forever be honored and missed in this home.

My next quick topic before I hit the couch is this Octuplet mother...normally I'm not a TV watcher but today was different, today I laid in bed all day feeling like I was either going to deliver this baby TODAY or die...I was watching Dr. Phil and all I have to say is WHO CARES HOW MANY KIDS SHE HAS....she doesn't have the Dugger's beat yet...yes John and Kate and the Ferrill Five...yes...but honestly I could care less. I'm glad she doesn't live in our state because even though we don't pay child support for Tim's Ex...we pay for her to have Food Stamps and Housing, etc...(I really shoudn't be that way) I couldn't possibly imagine paying for this lady who has no job, no husband and lives off her children's Social Security Disability. But on the other hand, my great Christian self comes out and says no...it's kind of wrong that she is doing this, but again the next breath says who cares...apparently she only did it for the publicity which is ethically wrong in my book.

xxoo

P.S. anyone else noticed that Kate Gosselin just looks horrible and not so down to earth anymore??? She's trying to hard on her image. Again, noticed that on Dr. Phil today. I do give these woman credit because they have 8 and 14 respectively I can't even manage the 3...almost 4 I got...poor kids get called the wrong name all the time!