Emotional Couple of Days

First things first...Miss Kara had her 2 month check up today...with shots...it wasn't as bad (for Tim and I) as I thought it would be, but still heartbreaking. My wonderful mother went with us, I think for moral support for me! Kara was naked and played on the table for a while before they came in...the doctor examined her...she's perfect...of course...and then she explained what vaccines she would be getting and what to expect, etc...then she got fussy and started to go to sleep in Grammie's arms when the mean shot lady came in...we laid her down on the table and Tim was next to her as I was at her head and one...two...three...scream"age" I tried to talk to her, but I was crying with her, the poor little girl was crying so much that she wouldn't breathe...I put a little breath in her face and she gasped for air...I quickly picked her up afterward and hugged her and told her sorry, and she just cuddled and fell right asleep...I think she wore her self out kicking and playing while being naked! She's still sleeping now as a matter of fact...3 hours later...but she didn't sleep much last night, I think she knew what was coming today!

Grampie had is 52nd birthday yesterday, along with Brandon who turned 9...Grampie was so excited to have Kara as his birthday present...along with a few beers. I'll tell you, I never imagined how he would be with her, I just figured it would be "just another baby" with Dad (Steve, that is, I totally disowned my "donor", but that's a whole other story that I really would need weeks to type, so from now on, Steve ((my step-father)) is referred to as Dad) but he is head over heals in love with this little girl and she is wrapped right around his finger! He misses her so much and often tells mom he can't wait a week to see her. He was happy and emotional too last night! We were glad that he had a great birthday.

My hormones (thanks to that lovely lack of thyroid and me just completely going off my medication) have taken a toll. I haven't..let's say...been the greatest person to live with the past couple of weeks, and worse recently. My hormones are all out of whack and I have to go Monday back to Syracuse to see what our next step would be. I know that I can't give up on myself or my body because I have a beautiful baby girl to take care of and a family that loves me. But, somedays I just wonder what my body would be like if they had just left my thyroid in there!

Anyway, I started this a while ago then Kara got fussy, so I fed her and gave her some tylenol, and now she just wants to be played with...thats all for now

xxoo to all

God Answers Prayers

Kara's first week with Daddy went awesome. They bonded all day, made up songs about me and helped out Mommy with the laundry. We met for lunch everyday and I got to kiss her up, I even got to feed her one day!

Tim's dad left to go back to Florida on Saturday, and the weekend just flew by. It started Friday night and never stopped until Sunday night. We had dinner with his dad and brother and SIL on Friday night at Art's Jug and let me just tell you that I thought someone had kidnapped our kids and gave us saints! I sat at the opposite end of the table with Tim's SIL. the kids...Makayla included sat down near Tim. I was nervous all week about this restaurant, for those who don't know is one of Watertown's better restaurants...not really kid friendly! Tim worked all Friday night and early Saturday morning we all met at Denny's with Tim's Aunt's and Uncle's for Breakfast and then we headed for Syraucse airport, from there we went up to my Mom and Dad's to have my Auntie Teresa meet Kara Bear for the first. We ate our Easter Dinner with my Mom and Dad and Step-brother and sister. Then we just crashed. Got up early for Sunday Easter Mass and then went to my Grandma's where I received the wonderful phone call from my boss (my job along with another one was terminated, I don't need to come to work on Monday) I was beside myself. But in a way a little happy, it gives me a chance to stay home with Kara. Tim was offered an AWESOME Job and hopefully in a couple weeks we will know the final answer (which we were already told he was hired) So the last 2 days were wonderful with Kara. I've gotten up early and got stuff done around the house, etc.

So, I am starting the job search again, but possibly just part time. I know I need benefits (Kara is covered until she is 1) but if it means staying with my little girl than I will. I am still employed at Guilfoyle and can pretty much set my own hours and work when I want (not to mention make 2x what I made at the bank) So 2 12 hour shifts a week will be my 40 hour week at the bank, just no benefits.

Other than that things are coming along well, most all of Kara's Easter pictures are on my Mom's camera so when I can get them I will post them! Easter just wasn't the same at 6 degrees!

love to all

It wasn't that bad!

Well, back to work today! Daddy is our hero and stayed home, as it seems he will be doing until we either a. find a new babysitter or b. till daddy gets a job and mommy can stay home (which pray that will happen by the end of the month!!!!) Our sitter cancelled last Thursday because she was kind of upset that the only day I needed her this week was Thursday. She thought that it would be guarenteed hours and needs the money. So daddy decided that he would work nights and mommy would work days.

Anyway, I'll post more later, Kara is crying because it's bath time!

She's AMAZING...PERFECT...and everything in between

Again, I will say, every single day Miss Kara amazes me. Its like everytime I look at her she looks different or does something different to make me smile. She makes the funniest faces when she's awake, she laughs in her sleep and frowns and whines as well. Everything makes me smile, knowing I was a part in making this precious little girl. We have a little bit of a spoiled little girl, but I'm thinking thats alright. Just like mommy, she will get everything she asks for...and more...if I have anything to say about it.

She has developed in a short 5 weeks her own little personality. I was explaining it to Tim today when she started crying....I said "it's her sad cry, she wants to be held" and viola...she stops! She gave us "the lip" today and I cried...it was so darn cute!

Well, we are still on the search for the right formula. We've been on Enfamil Lipil AR (Added rice) for about 2 weeks now, but recently we found that she has been gaging more thinking that her reflux is getting worse. The only good thing about this is that it's thicker and she sleeps longer at night. So yesterday we went to the doctor to see if it was getting worse and see what our next avenue is. He decided to switch her to Enfamil ProSobee (soy based)...let me tell you, we tried that last night, and Tim was in class so he didn't get the pleasure of trying to get her to eat the nasty crap, that stuff was so thin, and to start with I had a level 2 nipple (for the thicker stuff) and I realized it when I heard her drinking to fast, so I switched....she started to suck and started to scream...ok...back to the level 2...she liked it, so 4 oz later she was drinking so fast and making faces and the stuff all came back out. She burped, I gagged because it stunk BAD! At bedtime Daddy fed her and noticed how it was all coming out and said...she can't be getting enough so when she fell asleep and we dozed off around midnight, the monitors started!!! She slept for a while, around 4 the monitors started again. Now mind you the monitors haven't been going off (other than for the wires not hooked up good) for 2 weeks. So at the 5a.m. feeding, Daddy said enough was enough and he was going back to the AR...needless to say she was still sleeping at 10a.m.! When Marras Home Care called about the monitor because the doctor in Syracuse said to discontinue it (because their is nothing wrong apnea wise...yippee, he just belives its reflux...the times she stopped breathing her heartrate stayed the same so its not true apnea like we all thought) I talked to the respiratory therapist Chris and he explained that the reflux might be getting worse that when she starsts to spit up it hurts so bad acid wise that she stops breathing for a bit, sometimes worse than others. It all makes sense, but for my sanity we have the monitor for another month!!!!

Other than she's growing like a weed weighing in at 9lbs on Tuesday, I am getting more testy to everyone about holding her because I go back to work on the 17th!... :-(

We got some professional pictures done...of Kara...we went there with no intentions of getting her pictures done, but because the boys weren't very cooperative along with my glare of my glasses, kara was the star that day! Check out the pics!

love to all

xxoo