The last 2 days have been nothing but bringing my head out of my ass. I can say right now that I have one load of laundry in the dryer and one load in the washer...and they are my last. All of the other laundry is put away and my house is picked up. Yes, it may be 8:23 at night and I have yet to eat dinner (its in the microwave, has been heated up twice) I have to credit most of this on one thing...
My best friend...Marybeth came over Wednesday night after her class and sat down with me and made a list. She of all people know and get to listen to how overwhelmed I am and with her working on her Masters in Psychology she decided to come after the kids went to bed and help me with a list. This list, just on a piece of plain computer paper, is the best thing. We sorted out room by room what needs to be done and the frequency, then we highlighted, different colors, who does this...Tim, Me, Brandon, and Shared chore. I felt better after she left and was excited to start. For example, each night after the kids are in bed and before I go to bed take all the laundry and put it in the washer and wash it...the next morning when I am ready to walk out the door, start the dryer (yes I had quite the anxiety about letting my dryer run while I'm gone, but I'm still working on getting over it) when I get home from work take it out, fold it and go put it away to get ready for the next nights. So far, day one went wonderful. Although we were behind again (you wouldn't believe the amount of laundry a family of 5 goes through...I was doing it once a week...overwhelming) Tonight she came over to watch the kids while Tim and I ran some errands (DMV, Stores, etc) While I was gone, she prepared dinner, fed the kids, did my laundry and did my dishes...she didn't stop, she helped me put it all away and pick up my house...then she left. I feel so much better, maybe because she helped me, but because I vowed never to get like this again. Tomorrow we are working on a chore chart for Brandon, because he is old enough now to have responsibility, he wants things, he needs to show us that he can be responsible for things.
Thought I would share that I am almost out of my funk...its been 2 weeks...and tomorrow hopefully is the last...things are starting to look up...thank you so much for the help...
Mom, your annoymous comments always make me cry...thanks for always being that rock that is just a phone call away!!!...you deserve this vacation more than anything!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
Let the Hormones Flow
There really is no other way to put this other than, "this fetus is kicking my ass" I have looked so forward to this point, to start, NOT feeling crappy but I just do. I am not happy with myself in so many ways. I want so badly to remember this pregnancy as my last in so many ways, but our lives are just so hectic and I don't think that it's fair to Kara or the boys for that matter to have our lives be just about this baby and not them. I am upset with myself that I'm starting my 2nd trimester at the weight (heavier) than I was the night I went into labor with Kara. I remember that number so vividly and I never wanted to see that number again, but I hit it Jan. 28th, 2008. I am not there and a tad more today. I know it's only going to get worse and I hate the fact that it is. I know that I will remember the good parts but it just bothers me.
With Brandon in Pee Wee Wrestling now, it's hard for me to find time to go to the gym. I used to swim 3 times a week, but I find myself going less and less and I hate that too, but on the other hand am excited that Brandon found something he liked to do. I think after tonights practice the little kids and I are going to start walking for the hour that Brandon is at practice outside. It was so nice out tonight that I just hate sitting in that basement smelling sweaty boys and girls. Hopefully I can keep to that promise and start doing that. Then I come home and it's so overwhelming. I feel with working full-time, coming home, making dinner, going to either swim or something for the kids and coming home and ready to crash I get nothing accomplished at all during the week. I have almost accepted that fact, but it still puts me in a bad mood to see a "messy" house. I feel like since this new carpet has gone in I have done nothing but vacuum it. It is darker than the last but catches everything. But it's Monday, no doubt I will be "bitching" about it still on Friday and it will get done Saturday. I can honestly say looking into the weekend that we have nothing planned, but again, our lives changes so quickly. I would love to get outside doing "outside" work but again, things change so quickly. I was lucky enough to have cleaned well in the livingroom. The upstairs is the main focus now and I just need to make it 6 more weeks to find out the sex of this baby and the work can be done.
I've "petered" out for the night, I'm off to bed early as this morning Tyler decided that 530 was time to raise and shine. Hoping for a better Tuesday
With Brandon in Pee Wee Wrestling now, it's hard for me to find time to go to the gym. I used to swim 3 times a week, but I find myself going less and less and I hate that too, but on the other hand am excited that Brandon found something he liked to do. I think after tonights practice the little kids and I are going to start walking for the hour that Brandon is at practice outside. It was so nice out tonight that I just hate sitting in that basement smelling sweaty boys and girls. Hopefully I can keep to that promise and start doing that. Then I come home and it's so overwhelming. I feel with working full-time, coming home, making dinner, going to either swim or something for the kids and coming home and ready to crash I get nothing accomplished at all during the week. I have almost accepted that fact, but it still puts me in a bad mood to see a "messy" house. I feel like since this new carpet has gone in I have done nothing but vacuum it. It is darker than the last but catches everything. But it's Monday, no doubt I will be "bitching" about it still on Friday and it will get done Saturday. I can honestly say looking into the weekend that we have nothing planned, but again, our lives changes so quickly. I would love to get outside doing "outside" work but again, things change so quickly. I was lucky enough to have cleaned well in the livingroom. The upstairs is the main focus now and I just need to make it 6 more weeks to find out the sex of this baby and the work can be done.
I've "petered" out for the night, I'm off to bed early as this morning Tyler decided that 530 was time to raise and shine. Hoping for a better Tuesday
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Here we go again
So lately, all I have been thinking about is names. Just like my last pregnancy I have a boys name all picked out, but am struggling with a girls name. We had girls names picked out for Kara, but they changed every other week. We had McKenna, Kennady and settled with Kara. I thought we were all set with this babys name as we had picked it out before we found out I was preggers (yes...I'm that weird, I have always been the type of person to choose names way before. I think I had my first child named at the age of 5 and that was Mallory, also my baby dolls name. NOTE: just ran that by Tim...that name is a no go. ANOTHER NOTE: Brandon just ran by Claire and Tim ignored him...I do like that one...hmmm.
Back to this story. I started to cry today because in 8 weeks (which doesn't sound like a long time, until you say 2 months, I will be finding out what I am having. I have been having a hard time with this pregnancy because this will be my last and I want to cherish every moment so this will be my last child I will be naming. The problem seems to be that the names I like are names that people we know already have. I even called up one of our friends today and said, would it be too weird for the kids if I named the baby Lily? (He name is Liliana) She laughed and said she wouldn't mind, it would probably confuse the kids though.
So as I babble on, I'm stressing already on the names, not sure what we will end up with but until then I will continue to search names.
Back to this story. I started to cry today because in 8 weeks (which doesn't sound like a long time, until you say 2 months, I will be finding out what I am having. I have been having a hard time with this pregnancy because this will be my last and I want to cherish every moment so this will be my last child I will be naming. The problem seems to be that the names I like are names that people we know already have. I even called up one of our friends today and said, would it be too weird for the kids if I named the baby Lily? (He name is Liliana) She laughed and said she wouldn't mind, it would probably confuse the kids though.
So as I babble on, I'm stressing already on the names, not sure what we will end up with but until then I will continue to search names.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Slacking
It seems the only time I can find the time to write on here is when the kids are fast asleep and when I've been sitting at the desk writing out bills and I don't want to go sit down because I will surely fall fast asleep.
Things have been going wonderful. Kara continues to amaze me everyday with something new. She turned 13 months old yesterday and she has completed so many milestones in a month. We have gone from wobbling to walking fine to running, yes my peanut is running all over. The doctors said on Friday when she went for a re-check for her bronchitis they said she's so tiny, she hasn't even reached 20 pounds yet. My response to them was, spend a day at my house and watch her try to keep up with her brothers. The more she eats, the more she runs, and the more she burns it all off. I joke with people and tell them that she is never full, we have to tear her away from the table because she would sit in her highchair and eat all night long, she never gets bored. We actually have to cut her off!!! She mimics us in everything that we do, her endless shaking of the head to signal something she is eating is "good", he neverending kisses and her constant falling and her responding with "ohhhh". Tonight on the way home from my parents, Tim and I were listening to the radio and it happened to be our wedding song, well from the backseat we hear her singing along, babbling away, I think we both got teary eyed while we listened to her "sing" her song! I just have to mention as well that Kara has found a new obsession with DOGGIES. Her favorite word and favorite animal by far...I have yet to video her excitement when she sees one, but Friday I was able to take her to the pet store in the mall, I didn't have my phone out quick enough to catch her expression...it will be imprinted in my mind for a while...it was priceless!
Tim continues to go to school and bust his @$$ until May. We are so proud of Daddy for his hard work but at the same time, soooo ready for May so he can be home with us and we can incorporate him into our family routine.
Brandon is in the "girl" world now. He has been chatting with a girl who's in his grade for about a month now everynight...sometimes 2 or 3 times a night (we have to put a stop or they would talk ALLL NIGHT). Well Friday Kayla called and she asked Brandon to spend Saturday with her at her house, so I of course played the parent-role (which I should mention that it doesn't seem that long ago I was asking my mother to go to someones house) and said, "well I need to talk to her mother" thinking that it would trigger these young children to say, nevermind, but nope....on the phone her mother came. We informally introduced ourselves and I said the kids wanted to get together and she said, yup I was thinking tomorrow for a couple hours. So of course we let him. I was shocked and surprised. They are only 9...almost 10, but still...so I called Daddy and Daddy laughed and was as shocked as I was. So Saturday came and he got up early, showered, brushed his teeth and God love him, came downstairs with "play" jeans on (the ones with holes in them)...Mommy dearest quickly said..."oh, no" in the meantime I folded laundry to find clean school jeans and before Daddy got home from work to take him, I cut his hair and he "gussied" all up for his "girlfriend" That's Brandons life, but he is doing wonderfully in school and the only stipulation is that he continues to do well or the phone will get taken away.
Tyler has excelled in school to where I have to attend a meeting this week to have him de-classified as a preschool child with a disability. Tyler has come so far in such a few months that they see no reasoning to keep him labeled. This is wonderful and I am so proud of Tyler for doing so well in school, but I have to admit on the other hand we will be paying more for Tyler's school tuition, but we are also looking and exploring our options. It is so easy for Tyler to come to school with me every morning and not make the extra stop every morning, but on the other hand, I'm always looking for ways we can save money. He continues to see his mother, but that will soon be dwindling hopefully. Tim filed paperwork on Wednesday of last week to have her rights suspended until an investigation into Heidi's household is complete. This is another long story that would take me awhile...but I'm sure everyone gets the jist...she's an unfit mother and we just won't stand for that little boy to be treated that dirt. To her, he's just money in her pocket! Sad, I know!
Nothing new in my life...I'm putsing along...feeling chubby as ever. I'm tired but I find if I keep myself going I don't tend to fall asleep. I've been having trouble sleeping at night, something I experienced toward the end of my pregnancy with Kara, but I talked to the doctor and I'm more than able to take Tylenol P.M. I will only be taking it when Tim is home with me though. It's always a given that I don't sleep when Tim is not home, and I don't think that will ever change, unless of course if we ever move in with my parents (JUST KIDDING MOM) I'm beginning to accept this pregnancy more and at the same time I'm a little saddened that this will be my last pregnancy. I want to cherish every moment but at times, I find it hard to pay attention to this person growing inside me, when I have this amazing little girl that I need to give my attention to as much as I can before this baby is born. It's hard, I find myself reading every magazine article in the Parenting Magazine and every online article on Babycenter.com.
Everything will be ok...I'm convinced. Our lives are starting to get on track, we have some major goals accomplished, some so close ahead and we continue to look forward as our family will be complete in 6 short months!
Things have been going wonderful. Kara continues to amaze me everyday with something new. She turned 13 months old yesterday and she has completed so many milestones in a month. We have gone from wobbling to walking fine to running, yes my peanut is running all over. The doctors said on Friday when she went for a re-check for her bronchitis they said she's so tiny, she hasn't even reached 20 pounds yet. My response to them was, spend a day at my house and watch her try to keep up with her brothers. The more she eats, the more she runs, and the more she burns it all off. I joke with people and tell them that she is never full, we have to tear her away from the table because she would sit in her highchair and eat all night long, she never gets bored. We actually have to cut her off!!! She mimics us in everything that we do, her endless shaking of the head to signal something she is eating is "good", he neverending kisses and her constant falling and her responding with "ohhhh". Tonight on the way home from my parents, Tim and I were listening to the radio and it happened to be our wedding song, well from the backseat we hear her singing along, babbling away, I think we both got teary eyed while we listened to her "sing" her song! I just have to mention as well that Kara has found a new obsession with DOGGIES. Her favorite word and favorite animal by far...I have yet to video her excitement when she sees one, but Friday I was able to take her to the pet store in the mall, I didn't have my phone out quick enough to catch her expression...it will be imprinted in my mind for a while...it was priceless!
Tim continues to go to school and bust his @$$ until May. We are so proud of Daddy for his hard work but at the same time, soooo ready for May so he can be home with us and we can incorporate him into our family routine.
Brandon is in the "girl" world now. He has been chatting with a girl who's in his grade for about a month now everynight...sometimes 2 or 3 times a night (we have to put a stop or they would talk ALLL NIGHT). Well Friday Kayla called and she asked Brandon to spend Saturday with her at her house, so I of course played the parent-role (which I should mention that it doesn't seem that long ago I was asking my mother to go to someones house) and said, "well I need to talk to her mother" thinking that it would trigger these young children to say, nevermind, but nope....on the phone her mother came. We informally introduced ourselves and I said the kids wanted to get together and she said, yup I was thinking tomorrow for a couple hours. So of course we let him. I was shocked and surprised. They are only 9...almost 10, but still...so I called Daddy and Daddy laughed and was as shocked as I was. So Saturday came and he got up early, showered, brushed his teeth and God love him, came downstairs with "play" jeans on (the ones with holes in them)...Mommy dearest quickly said..."oh, no" in the meantime I folded laundry to find clean school jeans and before Daddy got home from work to take him, I cut his hair and he "gussied" all up for his "girlfriend" That's Brandons life, but he is doing wonderfully in school and the only stipulation is that he continues to do well or the phone will get taken away.
Tyler has excelled in school to where I have to attend a meeting this week to have him de-classified as a preschool child with a disability. Tyler has come so far in such a few months that they see no reasoning to keep him labeled. This is wonderful and I am so proud of Tyler for doing so well in school, but I have to admit on the other hand we will be paying more for Tyler's school tuition, but we are also looking and exploring our options. It is so easy for Tyler to come to school with me every morning and not make the extra stop every morning, but on the other hand, I'm always looking for ways we can save money. He continues to see his mother, but that will soon be dwindling hopefully. Tim filed paperwork on Wednesday of last week to have her rights suspended until an investigation into Heidi's household is complete. This is another long story that would take me awhile...but I'm sure everyone gets the jist...she's an unfit mother and we just won't stand for that little boy to be treated that dirt. To her, he's just money in her pocket! Sad, I know!
Nothing new in my life...I'm putsing along...feeling chubby as ever. I'm tired but I find if I keep myself going I don't tend to fall asleep. I've been having trouble sleeping at night, something I experienced toward the end of my pregnancy with Kara, but I talked to the doctor and I'm more than able to take Tylenol P.M. I will only be taking it when Tim is home with me though. It's always a given that I don't sleep when Tim is not home, and I don't think that will ever change, unless of course if we ever move in with my parents (JUST KIDDING MOM) I'm beginning to accept this pregnancy more and at the same time I'm a little saddened that this will be my last pregnancy. I want to cherish every moment but at times, I find it hard to pay attention to this person growing inside me, when I have this amazing little girl that I need to give my attention to as much as I can before this baby is born. It's hard, I find myself reading every magazine article in the Parenting Magazine and every online article on Babycenter.com.
Everything will be ok...I'm convinced. Our lives are starting to get on track, we have some major goals accomplished, some so close ahead and we continue to look forward as our family will be complete in 6 short months!
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